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How to cope with night wakening at 4 months

4 replies

paperclips · 06/02/2013 17:12

DS is now 19 weeks. 2 weeks ago we hit the dreaded 4 month sleep regression. Before that we had a great pattern, he'd sleep 6-7 hours then wake for a feed (ebf) then go back to sleep no problems. He now sleeps about 3 hours then wakes every hour after that. Its like having a newborn, I'm shattered. I leave him about 10 minutes when he wakes but the whimpering turns to crying and I go get him.

I've heard that what I absolutely must not do is feed him back to sleep. This is exactly what I have been doing! But he has always needed a breast to go to sleep. Am I really making a rod for my back?

Rocking doesn't usually work, or maybe I'm not trying long enough- he's heavy! Is it worth trying a dummy? He's never had one, I dunno if he'd take to it.

In the day, for naps he's v boob dependent and still only goes 2-3 hours max between feeds in the day. Have i made him like this? To be fair the last few nights he has fed properly when waking rather than a comfort suck. I think he's having a growth spurt, he even looks bigger iyswim.

Other suggestions I've had include moving into his own room, which I will not do before 6 months. Considered co-sleeping but i know he'd still wake up anyway, and i don't really want to kick poor DH out onto the sofa as he has a bad back and would be a grouchy old sod to live with. And he keeps me warm.

Will it just improve? I know he needs to learn to self settle eventually, but am I making it worse?

Would be grateful for any shared experience/advice.

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ZuleikaD · 06/02/2013 17:26

You are NOT making a rod for your own back - feed him back to sleep. It works, it's great, it doesn't form bad habits. Whatever it takes! It does sound as though he's hungry, so I'd go with it.

Perfectly normal still to be only going 2-3 hours between feeds during the day too (most bf babies only ever go this long until solids kick in).

Skiffle · 06/02/2013 21:38

Sounds normal but this doesn't make it any easier to cope with. Why would you have to kick your DH out if you co-slept? There's no harm in trying a dummy - unless you're anti-dummy of course - although I'd be surprised if he'd take to one at this age. I would feed him back to sleep. Is there any way you could get a nap in the day to try to catch up, or go to bed mega early for a few nights?

DD1 slept like this with very frequent waking, it was a killer and I was co-sleeping which helped although it was still unbelievably exhausting. She did gradually get better although still not great and then at around 9/10 months I did a kind of partial night weaning and cut out her feeds between 11 and 4am which restored my sanity.

paperclips · 06/02/2013 22:06

Skiffle- I don't think i'd ever be happy about co-sleeping. I feel the cold, so I like my covers up to my chin, so I'd be cold and uncomfortable sleeping with him on me in the position i feed him in (propped up with pillows). I've always been paranoid about "losing" DS under the duvet somehow, I used to wake up panicking and pat the duvet till I realised he's safe in his bed, still do this. Once i woke and found myself searching for him down my top under my boobs! they're not even big!

What i meant about kicking DH out was so DS could lie next to me. Occasionally if DH up working very late or very early, I'll pull all the pillows and duvet off his side, and put DS there in his grobag. This is nice but i suspect he'd still wake up a lot.

I used to have his moses basket right next to my bed but i decided it made no difference so i moved it away cos i hated having to climb past it to get in/out bed. I agree I've probably missed the boat with dummies. I used to be a bit anti-dummy but for no rational reason whatsoever.

It's sounding like a "this too shall pass" situation, eh?

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UserNameAngst · 06/02/2013 22:12

Oh look we are in the same boat, here is my thread from earlier this evening: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/1678276-20-week-old-feeding-2-hourly-through-the-night-anybody-been-there

Am in bed next to him now, having fed him back to sleep after 1.5 hours down. He is definitely hungry through, so I agree with you about growth spurt.

Can really empathise with "have I made him this way" - even though DS1 was treated v similar and was sleeping most of the night by now. Hang on in there!

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