What age is it safe to drop some of the cosleeping safety 'rules'?

[mrscog]

DS is 11mo and going through a dodgy sleep patch at the moment, which ends up with him in our bed from midnight until morning.

I obviously wouldn't bring him in with us if we'd been drinking, but now he's bigger, having him in with us and following the safety guidelines means that we can't sleep very comfortably - ie no pillows, low duvet.

Would it be safe by now to keep pillows and duvet and just have him in with us?

He shouldn't be inbetween you because of risk of overheating, so you could just have him on one side in his own sleep bag, without the duvet on him? Do you have a good HV to talk to about this? I know some aren't pro co-sleeping though.

Well they can use a duvet once they are 12mths. My dd is two and uses a pillow as well.

My Ds cosleeps for most of the night, his head is on my pillow and he's under the duvet in his sleeping bag. I don't recommend keeping his sleeping bag on like I do unless your house is as cold and draughty as mine.

Ooops sorry I forgot to say he's nearly 12months old

My son is 9 months and sleeps between us or beside me, depending on what side he's feeding on. I make sure the duvet doesn't cover him - we are face to face - and my husband and I are both very aware of where he is.

Birth, Sorry I feel the whole thing is a lot of fuss and stress for a tinny, tiny risk.

Thanks for your thoughts everyone. I'm considering putting him high up on my pillow but on top of the duvet on a sleeping bag. It will have to be between us as he could fall out otherwise, DH is very good at staying away anyway and sleeps right on the edge of his side (we coslept in the early days and I was very rigorous then but it just feels unnecessarily ott with a massive 11 mo).

Mrscog, has your Dh always stayed in with you both? My dp currently sleeps in the spare room while me and 6.5 month old ds sleep in our bed.
I was wondering when dp could come and join us. Neither of us smoke or drink and I'm breastfeeding

I had DD under the duvet with me by that age. DP wanted to sleep alone, but we did try with a - oh lord, can't remember what they're called! You know, the thing you put on the side of the bed to stop them falling out, I put one of the fabric mesh ones on our bed so DD could be on that side close to the edge. Bed guard?

DS is 13 months and we cosleep most nights. I stuck to guidelines until about a month ago, now he sleeps in the middle happily under duvet with his head high on my pillow.

Well it starts that way he usually turns sides ways and DP and I end up clinging to either end of the bed, DP usually ends up with feet in his face and I get the head

Mine were under the duvet with me, head on pillow, by that age. They are pretty unlikely to suffocate once they are strong and mobile.

I always used a pillow whilst cosleeping (from birth) but my pillows never move. To alleviate any worries about pulling the duvet over LOs head when she was between us (older, obvs) we each had our own duvet.

melon Yes DH has been in with us the whole time. When DS was tiny tiny he generally slept on my side (with bed against the wall) so DH wasn't really a consideration. But a few times he did go between us as well - we moved all the pillows so that DS's head was almost by the headboard and then our heads were lower so right from the off DS was very out of the way. DH also doesn't really move in his sleep and is v aware of DS.

9mo DS has been under my duvet since birth (it is a single duvet as I found it easier to manage - no DP to worry about ). I've always had a pillow too - it's far away from him as he's at boob height, with my arm/shoulder in between.

He crawled up onto my pillow in his sleep the other night.

I'd say by about 7 months I wasn't so strict about DS being on my side, so he would sleep under the duvet between us - but we were careful about pillows not being near him. From 12 months he had a duvet and pillow in his cot so I definitely didn't worry about him snuggling in with us.

Thanks MrsCog!