3y 8m, completely day toilet trained for about 6 months. So WHY has she started pooing in her pants ?

[NomDePlume]

DD has been properly toilet trained in the day for about 6 months+, no accidents for at least 5 months. In the last 5 days or so she has started pooing in her knickers and I can't understand why.

Whenever I ask her why, she just tells me that she won't ever do it again. She has never had a phobia of pooing in the loo and she hasn't got the runs or constipation, she's not had a major upheaval recently (although we are moving house on Friday), so I can't understand why she has suddenly reverted to doing this.

Is she normal ? Is it a phase ? How do I handle it ? Atm I'm finding it so frustrating that I'm getting cross with her, which is leaving her in floods of tears, hiccuping apologies and promising not to do it again, and me feeling like the worst person in the world

2 possibilities:

1. she is too busy playing or engrossed in what she's doing to get to the toilet on time. in which case, make her clean it up!

2. she's constipated and getting an impaction... softer poo can move around this and come out, often without any warning and sometimes without them even feeling it! in which case, see your GP!

Not had direct experience of this, but have moved house recently, and it's quite likely that your dd is a bit stressed or upset by the forthcoming move.

Try to be relaxed, don't get cross with her, neither of you is really doing anything wrong. Try to be blase about it, as you probably were during toilet-training. Perhaps you can start her a star-chart, with a star for every poo in the toilet, anda little reward for every day that ends in the same pair of clean knickers that were put on in the morning?

Constipation doesn't seem to be the case, just because she seems to be as 'regular' as she always was.

The play thing she has never had a problem with, up until 5 days ago she has been perfectly aware of the urge and has acted on it normally.

PC, that sounds like a good idea.

I suppose she could be stressed by the move, I've been pretty short-tempered and very busy in the last few weeks. She doesn't seem to be showing stress in any of her other behaviours, she is completely normal (for her) in all but this soiling issue.

Have you talked about the move? This may seem like a strange idea, but does she know that she's moving with you, and that you will still all be living together in the new house? I thought my mum was going a bit too far when she metniond this to me just before our move, but it turned out that she really did know what she was talking about, because my 5yo needed reassuring (despite knowing that life would continue as normal, that we would all be together, even though he would be going to a new school), but my 3yo didn't quite understand, and needed it all spelled out for her, that the toys would be coming too, that she would still be sleeping in a bedroom with her brother, that if she needed us in the night she could call out and we would come to her, that we would all have breakfast together in the kitchen etc etc.

Try to find the time (! ) to do it bit of role-playing, with her dollies for example, of what is involved in moving house, and get her to pack some toys that she will carry herself to the new house.

She seems to have a good grasp of the move and that all 5 of us (6 including the cat!) are moving to the new house. She's 'helped' me make some of the soft furnishings for her new bedroom so I think that has helped.

ndp - I WAS just about to post about the same thing when i came across your thread.

my ds potty trained at 2.3 yrs and was fine for ages. then at 3.3 yrs he started pooing his pants. he was being seen by a paediatrician for other reasons and was possibly constipated so went on to senokot for a while (be warned start does small) and after a while the problem went for about 4 months.

then justbefore his 4th bday it came back. pooing pants about 4 times a day but i know he's not constipated this time as the paed has checked him out AND he actually does a poo most days on the toilet! it's driving me bonkers. rewards or sanctions don't work as he claims at the end of the day he didn't want the reward or confiscated toy anyway! we know mostly when he's doing a poo as he goes off by himself. we now make him go and sit on the toilet and are having to start being a bit harder on him as just by himself he doesn't get bothered by it.

would be glad to hear if you solve this one and have any suggestions

Hi havent had any experience of this personally but my friend has 4 children. Her ds is the youngest boy and he is terrible for wetting himself (5 in June(. He only does it when his little sister is in hospital ( she has eye problems) or when it is his sisters birthday. Has there been a change in the amount of quality time you spend with her due to packing for the move. as I say I cant really advise but I know that this is the cause for my friends son. They normally make a point of spending real quality time with him during these periods as he is obviously feeling really upset by what is going on.