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Original poster

what would you have done?

12 replies

happybebe · 26/04/2006 12:32

was at play group with my little one year old today first time since the easter hols. anyways she was having a fab time playing with another baby about her age, when and older kid (about 3-4) sits down beside them and pulls the toys away. my baby just moves closer and carries on playing. they were both sitting at the boys mothers feet. anyways i am distracted with another baby trying to haul itself up my leg and when i next look up the mother is leaning down and stroking my baby under the chin. i thought this was a bit odd but as my babe had her back to me i couldnt see her expression. then the mum just went back to chatting with her friends, suddenly my babe turns round and she is sobbing her wee heart out! i rush over and pick her up only to find the mothers son had only bitten her hand and really badly, it was bleeding. its so busy in there that you cant hear very well thats why i didnt know she was crying. so this mother knew her son had bitten my child, knew my baby was sobbing and ignored her. i was raging and said to her 'your son has bitten my child! and showed her. she said well i cant do anything about it can i! and then turned away from me! i was so angry i had to go calm down and try to calm my baby down but she was so upset i ended up having to leave, as i was leaving the woman was mouthing at me across the room! argh!

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alison222 · 26/04/2006 13:27

Your poor DD Sad
Its really difficult when the parent doesn't show any sort of reaction when their child does something like that.
I personally would have expected her to discipline the child in some way. I would have also expected her to apologise to you as if it had been one of mine that did that I'd have been mortified.
I know biting happens and is common but usually in younger children not the older ones. My DD has been bitted but the parent ahs always been hugely apologetic.
I hope you have disinfected the bite as human mouths are rife with germs and a human bite can be more dangerous than a dog one according to the lady who took my first aid course.

starlover · 26/04/2006 13:29

I don't think there is anything else you could have dont TBH :(
I can't stand parents like that... the absolute least she could have done was apologised to you

Original poster
happybebe · 26/04/2006 13:29

hi alison yes i disinfected her wee hand and that hurt her too Sad feel guilty for not keeping a closer eye on her though poor baby, its just the first time something like this has happened ie another person deliberately hurting my child, it actually hurt me when i saw the bite on her hand.

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NotQuiteCockney · 26/04/2006 13:32

Yeah, unfortunately, what can you do?

I do wonder at a 3 or 4 year old who bites. Maybe SN? Or maybe his mother is just raising him to be feral?

There's no way to really train other adults to be polite. I probably would have had a word with the folks who run the playgroup, just so they knew, and could keep an eye out for other similar damage. They might have wanted to fill out an accident report.

mumfor1standfinaltime · 26/04/2006 13:33

That is awful happybebe, bless her. I would have been raging in your shoes.
Biting at that age? Wouldnt be so bad if the other child was too young to understand.
Dont let it stop you going back.

Original poster
happybebe · 26/04/2006 13:34

perhaps he was younger but he certainly looked 3 or 4 years quite big guy able to talk very well etc, yes perhaps i should have told the organisers.

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NotQuiteCockney · 26/04/2006 13:56

If he was talking in full sentences, he is too old to be biting. Biting is normal and understandable in children who can't express themselves well, iyswim (still worth trying to stop in these kids, obviously!). Beyond then, it's unusual, from what I know.

You have to bite very very hard to draw blood. What happened is quite alarming in a couple of ways, frankly.

MrsBigD · 26/04/2006 13:59

Shock at the other mother
If my dd would have bitten a child nearby and that child was crying I would

a) tell off dd and
b) try and console other kid whilst trying to spot parent to hand over and apologise!

I admire your restraint... I would have told that mum a thing or 2! And don't blame yourself for taking your eyes off for the moment... you can't constantly watch dd.

Original poster
happybebe · 26/04/2006 14:07

thats exactly what i would have done if it was my baby causing the hurt. in an ideal world...

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Marina · 26/04/2006 14:11

I'd have been extremely upset and shocked, as you were, but thinking about it now I would certainly have reported it to the playgroup coordinators. Our local one has a code of conduct to deal with incidents like this, and repeated violence that is not dealt with properly by the parent leads to adult and child being asked to leave. The mother's reaction was totally wrong - guilt talking, perhaps?
PLEASE report it to the organisers. Whatever the explanation for a big child biting, it needs dealing with. Your poor dd, but she'll forget it much quicker than you will :(

Skribble · 26/04/2006 14:15

Yes do tell the orgainiser about it at the very least it should be recorded in the accident book.

NotQuiteCockney · 26/04/2006 14:15

It would be worth mentioning it to the organisers the next time you go. Think of it this way, if this boy makes a habit of biting babies, the sooner the organisers know about it, the better.

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