When to tell dc1 about my pregnancy

[redwellybluewelly]

Just after advice really, I'm 22weeks now and wondering when to tell dd about baby and put in some effort to helping her understand. Nursery are 100% ready to do stories etc.

Dd is 2.5 and will be 2.10 when baby arrives, she has excellent understanding but limited language.

Im worried if we start preparing her too soon she will have zoned out to it in four/five months time!.

I am 18 weeks and we have told our two already that there will be a new baby in july. DS (5) is perfectly old enough to understand and had asked for a baby from father christmas . DD is 2.8 and also understands that there is a baby in mummys tummy that will grow and come to live with us. she also has speech delay but can still point and say 'baby mamas tum tum' which is v cure.

we told them after our 12 wk scan, as had a MC between DS and DD we wanted to make sure. DS would have been 2.3 when we announced DDs impending arrival and he coped with it just fine, didnt forget about the baby at all, and even gave her a name. i remember looking at something on cbeebies website with him every week showing how the baby was growing and just answering any questions he had. unfortunately his questions are now a bit trickier .

i think it depends on the child as to how soon to prepare them - DS hates surprises of any kind and likes to know whats happening and when so for him planning for something is essential.

its very exciting isn't it? and lovely watching a new relationship grow.

Aw. Think she is a bit ahead of my dd but will start to think about books maybe and take a look at the cbeebies website.

Thank you though. Dd is absolutely desperate for a new baby doll which she adores (friend has one) and so I think that might come home from hospital with me and dc2!

Both times I've started mentioning babies after the 12 week scan, but not really made a big deal of it to start with.

Then, as the time has got closer (from about 30 weeks onwards) I've talked about it more, got DS (and, the next time, DD) to help me sort out clothes for the new baby, and looked at pictures from when they were new. I also encouraged them to talk to the bump. Which, this time around, meant they both came bounding in to my bedroom every morning to shout 'good morning baby!' into my belly button.

I don't think they zoned out by telling them too early, DD in particular was always interested in talking about the baby. I asked their opinions on names too. Not that I was ever going to use DS's suggestion of Gordon for a girl.

Both of them saw me being examined by the midwife this time around, as she visited at home as I had a homebirth. I think that helped, as she explained to them what she was feeling for- could you take your DD to an appointment nearer the time?

I also talked about what would happen with them when the baby was born (they went to my parents for the day, and came home and met DS2 when he was 2 hours old), and, when asked, explained to DS how the baby would come out. Luckily he didn't think to ask how it got in there in the first place!

Oh, and we read 'There's a house inside my mummy' so many times that I think I'll be able to recite it when I'm 80.

DS seemed unphased by DD's arrival (he was 22 months at the time), and they both seem to be coping well, at the ages of 3.10 and 23 months, with DS2's arrival. Mind you, he was only born on Friday, so it could all change!

Good luck with your new baby. Watching your children's relationship with each other develop is definitely one of the high points of parenting, in my opinion.

Sorry if that was a bit disjointed and rambling, by the way. I'm on my phone, sitting with DS2 on me, waiting for him to fall into a deep enough sleep for me to put him down and go to sleep myself.

Same as AD here. With mine I told them in a fairly casual manner after 12 week scan. DD1 would have been about 18 months when I told her about DD2 so didn't really get it (or care), but certainly knew and would occasionally put hand on my tummy and say 'baby'. The main thing was that people talk about it. I would be extremely surprised if your 2.5 yr old doesn't already know - how can she have not overheard you and DH or friends mentioning it? In which case best to get on and talk about it openly I would think, but not make a big deal about it until much nearer the birth. As the time got closer and the bump got bigger we talked about it a lot more to prepare DD1 and read various books etc. Again we told the DDs after 12 week scan with DS, DD2 was about 20 months and DD1 was 3 and a half . Turned out DD1 had already overheard us talking whilst she was in bed so knew anyway. They didn't seem give it much real thought until the baby actually arrived, but the longer they know about it, the more it is just a given and accepted part of their life I think - by the time the baby arrives in their tiny minds it has been 'there' for ever as the 6 months or so of knowing that it is coming seems like a lifetime!

Yes - I think judging from her behaviour she has realised that something is up, certainly the fact that bump popped this week has given her something to see. I have taken her to the MW appt at 17 weeks but nothing to see (MW did put the doppler thingy on DDs tummy) however I'll take her to the 24 wk appt and also she will have to come to the 34 week appt at the hospital to see the scan as I have no childcare. But I was interested in knowing how to talk to her about her baby brother/sister and what it might mean for her in terms of having a baby in the house.

I was 4 when my sister was born and I don't remember it particularly well but I do remember helping with fetching things and my mum being outrageously grumpy. I was closer to my DF anyway and the baby simply made that more so (to the extent that DF dealt with me and DM dealt with sister for years) - a situation I wish to avoid.