I'm losing my temper often with my six year old son

[Charday]

I'm feeling awful right now. I lost my temper and yelled at DS when he ran away from me on the pavement. I lost it when he refused to respond despite me calling out to to him several times. He does this when he's with a friend and is trying to be funny. What's giving me a sleepless night is the fact that he worked me up to a state, where I shouted at him and twisted his ear to make him understand that not listening is not acceptable. I felt terrible afterwards and still am pretty low. I also fear that my feelings of tiredness at being overworked (with little support from DH) make me short tempered in general and snappish at the kids. I am just wondering if it is really possible to be calm and loving all the time, while bringing up a six and a three year old.

It is so hard to stay patient, especially when they are not listening. I have to really stop myself at not shaking ds1to get him to listen. It does not help that in my job I am often praised for my patience but with my DS it is so different. I bought the book 'calmer, easier, happier parenting ' and it does help, but no one is perfect especially when tired and pushed to the limit. Try and make today a new start but don't beat yourself up over it.

Thanks Lorisparkle. I shall download the book you recommended on my Kindle. I have started my day on a quieter note and I am pleased that DS's been packed off to school smiling. Usually, it's a medley of shouts and pleas during mornings. It does help to talk about it and knowing that I am not I am not the only one to lose control. It's funny you say that about your job, I used to be known as a 'calm' professional at work too; but many times, with my kids I'm anything but calm.

First thing you need to do is not blaming anyone for you loosing your temper. You have the power to control your feelings and you just need to find the way that works for you best.

I have to say the mornings were always the most stressful times in my house until I followed the advice in the book. We have a routine written up on the wall and when they have completed everything on the list they can watch TV. If they mess around they miss TV. I rarely nag or get cross now so happiness all round!

One solution to the running off and refusing to listen is to tell him firmly, 'The very next time you do that I shall put you on toddler reins in front of your friend'. If you cannot behave sensibly when we are on a busy road side then you will look very silly at having to be on reins'.

The threat of this was enough to sober my 6 year old up and make sure he never galloped off again!