Routine for baby?

[zcos]

I know there are other discussions on here but want to canvas general opinions on routines - to do or not and what type.
Been reading up maybe too much re routines for baby - my DD is 7 wks old and I'm confused.
NHS seems silent, GF is v strict but works for some, baby whisper states if no routine now baby suffers later. Most other books state that some routine is good for baby... I'm trying to do a bedtime routine but not sure what to do and how best to structure the day.

I think that 7 weeks is a bit young for a routine personally. Both of mine sort of formed their own routine by around 4-5 months, I think that at 7 weeks feeds were roughly 3 hourly at around the same time each day but naps were still very variable, and some days were just spent feeding!

Our bedtime routine at 5 months for dd2 involves bath at 6:30, then a feed at 7 and bed whenever that feed ends (sometimes by 7:10, sometimes not until 8). Sometimes I try and fit a story in after the bath but she's usually shouting for food by then so I usually skip it to be honest. She usually goes to sleep awake and settles herself within a few minutes.

I think that having a general structure and flow to the day is best and not getting to caught up on routines especially timings. newborns are such random and changeable little things that you can always feel you are failing. I quite liked the baby whisper idea of eat, activity, sleep then 'you time' but with mine I kind of guided them towards a routine rather than imposed one. the main mistake I made with ds1 was thinking he was always hungry because he was always happy for a feed rather than recognising that he was actually tired. ds2 was easier in a way as he liked short feeds and would be sick if you tried to give him more! ds3 was by far the easiest as he loved a routine but unfortunately with 2 older ones we could not live to his routine.

Thank you both.
I read on MN somewhere about looking for tiredness cues which I have been trying to do else I could just end up feeding her much more.
I think I may only manage a rough routine doing some things the same as I certainly wouldn't want everyday to be the same and have grandparents visiting and baby group on different day.
Would like a roughly regular day time nap though mainly so I can go for one too and catch up DD seems to change every day re that. Last thing I want to do is nod off and then she starts crying or squeaking for attention, that's worse than no nap at all!

I'm afraid it wasn't til much later that any of mine had predictable day time naps. with ds1 I would lie down near him when he went to sleep but he was a nightmare daytime sleeper so rarely got long. of course with ds2 and 3 I never had the luxury!

just wanted to say I made loads of 'rods for my own back' and was a terrible 'accidental parenter' but my boys are happy confident lively lads who love life and learning. the oldest two also sleep through the night. they are far from perfect but feeding them to sleep and never leaving them to cry through choice certainly did them no harm!

my little boy is 5 months old now and have only really over the last month formed a routine for him which involves bath bottle bed. my friends kept tellin me to get a routine sorted asap but i felt at 2 weeks old (which is the age he was at the time i was bein told) was far too young to be introducing a routine. plus bein a new mum i didnt really understand what she meant. our routine with my son has happened naturally. i started to write down notes of his feed times and nap times etc and noticed a pattern forming which makes my day so much easier as i can plan my day round my sons needs. he tends to have a morning nap, lunchtime nap and afternoon nap. the only thing i am tryin to master is an earlier bedtime. he currently goes to bed around 8-8.30pm. he sleeps through until 6-7am. i did try bringing his bedtime earlier to 7 and also tried 7:30 but he was waking too early at 5am. even after readin up and tryin various tips off websites and perseverence nothin worked so have just accepted that is his routine for now with the hope we can eventually bring his bedtime earlier at a later date, probably when he drops the afternoon nap.

if I could buy only one parenting book it would be 'teach your child to sleep' it is full of facts not opinions with options to fit you and your family rather than a prescribed lifestyle. my hv let be borrow hers when ds1 was 8mnths.

I agree with what loris says that at this age, it's best not to expect anything more than a general structure.

My DC3 is now 7 months, but her routine has roughly been:

1. bottle,
2. bum change,
3. awake/play,
4. sleep.
5. repeat all day .

Like you say, I look for sleep cues - eye rubbing, yawns and tugging at her ears/side of head. from about 6 weeks she has been on 3 hourly feeds, sometimes less.

These days I know she'll have a short nap in the morning, a longer one in the afternoon and a very short one late afternoon. Exactly what time these will fall is unpredictable, but the rough order stays the same.

I know some people love routines, but if your baby doesn't fit with them, it can just cause stress - "WHY WON'T HE SLEEP?? it's his 9.45-10.15 nap time!"

My babies just haven't read the bloody books

I would go with what Kerry and Lois say also. I've read those books plus the ones on the opposite of the scale and I think there is middle way. The eat activity sleep with an eye on baby cues whilst aiming for three naps good length a day worked well with mine from about 12 wkd

I had a routine for DD from day one, but she clicked with it. I wouldnt have stuck with it if it didnt work for her.

I offered her milk every three hours in the day, and in the first week or two, she fed, bum changed, had a chatter to and a cuddle then a swaddle and down in the basket. She slept a LOT. As the weeks went on, her awake time would lengthen, and at seven weeks was
7am -up, milk, bum, cuddles
7.45 - swaddle and basket. Slept for about an hour, then a lay on her playmat
10am - milk, bum, cuddles.
10.45 - as above

And so on. If I went to the shops etc I would time it around sleeps and she would sleep in the pram.

Her evening would be wake at 5.30pmish from nap, bath, bottle and story or cuddles, bed by 6.30/7pm.

Gold plated... Would she sleep then 7-7 find it so hard to get her up that early as she won't go down to sleep til 11-2 am and feeds at 4

nooo nooo! I would wake her at 10.30/11pm (or just scoop her out for a feed), and then she would wake us at about 3am for a feed. Never changed her bum at night unless it was a Code Brown. At about 8/9 weeks she stopped waking at 11pm, and would go til 2am then need milk.

still hoping for some sort of changing d is 8 weeks next week.
spent all week.in with her due to.snow and did think.we were finally getting somewhere daily nap.that started between 12.30-2 and ended 3 hours later ... had to rock back as she semi woke every 45 ... its all gone awry today though but could be cos dh is home!

I found you! :)

Daytime isn't too bad here.

Night is the problem, DS is 12 weeks on Monday, we've got into a habit of keeping him with us downstairs and feeding at around 8pm then he sleeps in his swinging chair until he wakes about 11 then we take him up and he's in our bed latched onto the breast all night! Screams if put in his cot. For my own sanity it's becoming a choice between giving up breastfeeding or getting the little guy in his own cot.
I'm not keen to try GF, it's far too strict, not read the no cry sleep solution, I'm not willing to do cc or letting him cry it out, it works for some but I personally cannot leave a child crying.
I can't see any sleep cues in him though he'll feed to sleep everytime so I guess I don't notice them.

I don't have any routine for my ten-week-old baby, I just go with the flow. With my other two I found it easier to wait until they found a pattern of their own then modify that to suit me better. So DS1 would have woken early for breakfast then had a long sleep in the morning. DS2 has always been up and active in the morning. I didn't introduce bedtime until they started to go to sleep around that time anyway (atm J doesn't usually go to sleep until 10-12 in the evening). Then it would be bath (every other day), pyjamas on, story, milk and then bed with the mobile on. When they were a bit older I would let them cry for a few minutes then go in and pat them and make shushing noises but not lift them unless they became frantic. My older boys are 10 and 6 and they still get bath, pyjamas, supper and story (DS1 reads his own now) and bed at 8:30.

Babies can adjust very quickly so you can go from a night of crying in the cot to three days later settling there quite happily.

I'm not a fan of leaving baby to cry. Sometimes you have to because you can't get to them or you've had enough and you need a break but I don't like the idea of doing it on purpose. In the end you have to find what works for you and your baby and that will be different for everyone.