Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Who's Being Unreasonable? Me or My Hubby? - About travel to central London

20 replies

whosthis · 15/01/2013 13:08

Our little one is 3 months old now. I have friend coming to England to visit me. I would like to show her around a bit in Centre London. Plus I am a bit fed up myself after having stayed only in my area for the last three months.

Previously, I agreed with my hubby that our baby is quite small to travel to central London especially in winter when the virus are potentially everywhere. But I was thinking 3 months is sort of "milestone" which should provide more security in terms of health and the handling of the baby. Also I really couldn't figure out how "dangerous" it could be for traveling to central London by tube, provided we avoid rush hour and do a good planning about the accessibility of platforms in the tube stations.

But my hubby was really upset by my point of view last night. He's saying that he himself wouldn't be confident to handle it taking into account the crowd in London, the difficulty to find a place to change the nappy, the germs around and the transport. He even said that what if you fall on the platform...

I understand he's just being prudent. But isn't this a bit too much? I asked him "So in your opinion, people living in central London as long as they have a baby, they wouldn't go out at all?" Then he said "But they don't live in Barnet." But so what? I mean, the distance is really about sitting inside the tube and wait time to pass by. How more dangerous could that be??

Am I being unreasonable? Is it really not very wise to go to central London and visit the museums and etc. when the baby is still young???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lightrain · 15/01/2013 13:13

Your DH is being silly and overprotective. It's a city centre in the UK, germs are everywhere. You can't hermetically seal yourself inside the house forever. Plus, there are plenty of places to change nappies, feed, etc. You just need to stop for coffee lots!

JustinMumsnot · 15/01/2013 13:15

It's the best time to do it IMO. I used to do it all the time when I was on mat leave with DD1 - go to a gallery and meet a friend for coffee. I tended to take her in the sling though rather than the buggy as it made Tube stations much more accessible. Your husband is being very overprotective and a bit silly. If you feel confident and you sound like you do than make the most of it. Once you have a toddler it will be a lot more hassle.

NaturalBaby · 15/01/2013 13:15

What does he think people living in central London do when they have a baby?!
I'm struggling to understand what exactly he's worried about. Stick the baby in a sling, take a backpack and plot out a few department stores with nice baby changing facilities and have a lovely day out.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

MajesticWhine · 15/01/2013 13:16

YANBU. Sorry your DH sounds extremely irrationally anxious. I often travel in central London, and it's really not too bad (and have so far avoided falling off a platform). If there is more than one of you, then it's easy to carry your buggy up and down the stairs where necessary. There are as many germs in the average play group or nursery as on London transport, I would imagine. If he has a phobia of the tube (lots of people do), you can actually get everywhere by bus. Do you have to go with him? Can't he stay at home if he can't handle it?

Treats · 15/01/2013 13:17

I travelled round central London with my baby when she was this age and she's still here!!

To address your husband's concerns:

a) Outside of rush hour and the more touristy places, central London isn't horribly crowded most of the time. If you plan your day carefully and don't take the pram on the tube in the rush hour, you shouldn't have too many problems. Buses are more baby-friendly on the whole, for actually getting around.

b) It's not difficult to find a place to change a nappy. Most of the museums, etc. have good facilities. If you're in Oxford Street or Sloane Square, then the John Lewis facilities are excellent - not just for nappy changing but for feeding as well - so you could always plan your day around a lunch stop there.

c) Germs - fair point, but probably a bit over-anxious. But you can always take an anti-bac gel to use on your hands or wear gloves that you take off before you handle the baby.

But I can understand why he's a bit paranoid. Maybe plan a trip out with him to somewhere a bit closer to home (Brent Cross?) and see if it relaxes him a bit.

Delayingtactic · 15/01/2013 13:17

Oh lord he's being overprotective. I don't get the Barnes comment - is Barnes more or less dangerous?? I took my 6 week old DS out and about in London (on the tube too!) and was fine. So long as you're not traveling at rush hour I don't see the problem.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 15/01/2013 13:19

He does sound a bit neurotic. I don't really understand his worries either as a 3 month old baby will be safely tucked up and not touching all the surfaces that just might harbour germs on the underground. Crowds? Well it's hardly a stampede is it? Nappy changing? There will be plenty of places and if there aren't you can manage a 3 month old on your lap.

dreamingbohemian · 15/01/2013 13:22

He is being ridiculous!

IME taking the tube at non-rush hour times is totally fine.

TFL website has list of stations with lifts. Or you and your friend should be able to carry the buggy up stairs together, I also found strangers were very willing to help with this often.

I really think you need to nip his over-reaction in the bud now or you will be dealing with his paranoia for ages.

ZuleikaD · 15/01/2013 13:23

Don't take a pram, put baby in a sling. Handsfree, piece of cake travelling on Tubes and buses. A good friend has even breastfed on the tube. All cafes and department stores have nappy-changing facilities, and germ-wise your baby would have to be touching things, which at three months they probably won't be. Your husband is being a bit mad.

FWIW I'm 8m pregnant with DC3 at the moment and am already planning London trips for soon after he's born. It really is the easiest time to travel with them - strap them on and go!

Pozzled · 15/01/2013 13:23

My DD2 came to the theatre with us in the west end at 2 weeks (obviously for a kids' show!). And various other places- she was a summer baby and we made several trips into town for DD1's benefit.

It's fine. Plan ahead so you know where to find changing facilities, avoid rush hour. I found a sling and a lightweight foldable pushchair a good combination. Easier if you've got someone with you to help with the pushchair, but doable on your own.

Pozzled · 15/01/2013 13:29

Just to add- some posters have said leave the pushchair and just take a sling. I did this a few times but found it frustrating and tiring not being able to put the baby down much. So do take a mat or blanket and look for places with big sofas or lots of floor space- coffee shops, museums, family areas in dept stores. Of course if a friend goes with you, you can pass the baby over for a bit!

StealthToddler · 15/01/2013 13:29

goodness - how the heck have I survived living in central london with 3 children and coping with all the transport and tube journeys and visiting the museums and other wonderful things on offer in the big scary capital.....

Its not difficult - best travel with a sling (public transport is difficult so would avoid using a pram. The museums are particularly child friendly IME. I live pretty close to the V&A, Science Museum and Natural History museum all of which have fantastic facilities for changing etc, and the cafe at the V&A is a particular haunt for mums with very young children to meet up in.

BF wherever you are comfortable! I have BF on the bus on the tube, in the park, in the museums etc and never been made to feel like it was a problem.

Peter Jones (John Lewis) is known as mummy central as their facilities are great and even provide rocker feeding chairs.....

I think it is actually much easier to travel in London with a very young baby than with an older child when you do require a buggy...go for it, and enjoy.

If you are in museum land or are exploring Hyde park/Kensington gardens, a very good place for a quick nappy change is the Serpentine Gallery in the middle of the park.

fuckwittery · 15/01/2013 13:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

whosthis · 15/01/2013 13:34

Thank you very much for the supports, ladies! I didn't expect so many replies so fast!

I am more confident to convince him now with all your suggestions and experiences!

Treats, the idea of letting him try it with me for the first time is brilliant. I think he's afraid of the "unknow". When he sees how it could be handled, he would feel more comfortable about it.

Yes, I do believe he's often overprotective. But he's a very good hubby to his son. He's actually more patient to him than I am. This is his first child and he's nearly his 40s. I sometimes do understand why he is so protective!

Thank you, ladies! Vive, Mumsnetter!

OP posts:

fubbsy · 15/01/2013 13:35

"People who live in central London don't live in Barnet?" We are just people - and babies live here too. It's only 9 miles away, not a different country.

Where do you want to go? Museums are easy with babies. On rainy days I used to take my baby dd to the Tate Modern and go to that room with the Rothko paintings.

HappyJoyful · 15/01/2013 13:42

As many say, get out there and have a ball! Just for anyone else wondering about good changing facilities - Westfield shopping centre has amazing changing rooms too, complete with big brother style cubicles and chairs for breastfeeding.

Wait till you have a toddler then you're talking far more limitations about meeting friends and where.

Pootles2010 · 15/01/2013 13:43

Aw its kind of cute, in a daft kind of a way! But yes, very daft. Will be fine! Just lots of coffee stops, as others have said, and if there's a few of you you'll be grand.

We went when ds was a baby, and it was fine. Love the thought of no people living with children in Barnet, at all Bless him.

DontmindifIdo · 15/01/2013 13:44

your DH is being silly. If you want to use the buggy, then look at the wheelchair accessable tube lines, I know there's lifts for all of the jubliee line, and a lot of the others, but I used to just get the train to Charring cross then walk everywhere.

As for baby changing, there are sooo many places to change a baby! every coffee shop and department store will have changing facilities.

As for germs, does he work in the city? He'll be bringing back all those germs on him, if he doesn't, with you living that close, I bet a lot of your 'mummy friends' have DH/P's who work in the city and will be travelling on the tube/trains bringing those same germs home everyday. It's not like you are going to let your DC lick the tube train, if they are in their buggy and you wash your hands reguarly then they are going to be no more exposed than they are spending time with other people who commute in. Would he ban you from taking your DC to someone's house when their DH might get home from London while you were there????

Oh and as for it being crowded, outside of rush hour it's not. It's really, really not, with the possible exception of school holidays.

DontmindifIdo · 15/01/2013 13:45

BTW - if you do decide to do a trip on to Brent Cross to show him how easy it is with a tiny one, don't do it on a busy saturday afternoon!

Bearcrumble · 15/01/2013 13:49

5th floor of house of fraser on Oxford st had a very quiet baby room with comfy chair for feeding, change facilities and loo. Don't tell anyone though.

Flip