Letting my toddler cry for a solid hour :(

[Theicingontop]

My 2.5 year old DS got woken up from his nap early today, and he was inconsolably upset/angry. I'm talking red face, screaming until he's hoarse angry. He wet himself because he was so upset and I had to hold him down to strip his wet clothes off. I tried everything to calm him down, I cuddled him, read to him, offered him food and juice, I resorted to switching the TV on, tried to get his coat on to get out of the house for a walk, told him off... Nothing I did worked. Because he woke up early!!!

He pushed me away and threw every toy I offered him. After about half an hour of trying to talk to him, soothe him, I gave up. I left him in the living room on the naughty rug, bawling his eyes out for a whole hour. I checked on him, sometimes offered a hug and tried to talk to him, but he refused each time. He eventually calmed down, said he's sorry and gave me a kiss, and played quietly until dinner. He's never had a tantrum this bad before, I just kind of sat in the other room waiting for it to stop

Did I do the right thing? It's made me realise I'm completely unprepared for this sort of behavior Is this the terrible twos behavior I've been taught to expect, or is this an abnormal amount of anger to come from such a little person? I feel very guilty that I couldn't help him calm down, and left him for so long.

If it helps, I would probably have tried all the things you did too, and if they didn't work I don't know what else I would or could have done. Poor you and poor DS.

What normally brings him out of lower level tantrums?

This isn't the terrible twos. He's just pissed off he woke early making him very cranky.

I'd have not tried lots of different things. Just hugged him or sat with/near him until he calmed down.

My ds has done this before when woken early from a nap. Asking questions etc etc just made him worse. Sitting with him and maybe saying sympathetic words like "you're tired, it's ok" was the best thing really.

i think you done the right thing, you tried to help him calm down but by the sounds of it he just needed to cry it out. If he wanted you he could have come got you or shouted for you it's not like you refused him. He obviously needed his space i would have done the same thing what would be the point of forcing hugs on him apart from to make you feel better i think we all have those just leave me alone moments.

FWIW my DH is horribly cranky when woken early - and he's 36!

His reactions are different, but his annoyance is the same.

Letting him come around in his own time without too much interaction works for him - and DD too .

Wherever possible I try to let sleeping babies (and DH's!) lie. If I have to wake them up I give them both space to come around or they both have meltdowns.

My dn used to do this - usually when woken from a nap. She literally couldn't be consoled by another person and would just work herself up into even more of a frenzy so the only thing to do was do what you did which was sort of be there but not facilitate. By checking on him, saying the odd thing and acknowledging his sadness you were bearing witness to it which is important but I don't think you can avert the course of it in certain children.

Poor little love. However, I really wouldn't worry about it, he'll be over it by now :) Next time try just sitting quietly near by and quietly reading a book he normally likes - let him wind himself down and come to you.