How do you scold a 8mo?

[sharond101]

DS loves pulling my hair (so hard it snaps off), scratching my face and stealing the clean nappy Iam about to put on him. I have started telling him "No" in a slightly raised voice,and removing his hands from where they should not be, but DH thinks Iam wrong to do this when DS is so young. Do you tell off your LO when they are so little?

I do agree that the actual word'no' should be used sparingly because when it is used 'no' needs to be what happens. I don't want to turn into one of those mothers who screaches no all the time and is ignored. I use other wys of putting 'no' such as 'stop that' or 'we don't pull hair.' In fact as I type 'we don't pull hair ' comes back to me. Certainly not too young to sat that. Babies pick up on all sorts.

AlienReflux's post really made me think.

Different parenting works for different DC.

My eldest DS (with Aspergers) wouldn't notice any sort of facial expression even now, but knew the meaning of certain words at 8 months, and was using them in context at 9 months.

Just now I used "No!" with him. That's all I said. It stopped him behaving wildly. I used it when he was 8 months. I use it now he's 14. I don't screech, and I'm not ignored. (Well I might screech, and at times I'm sometimes ignored, but not at them same time). I know some parents, and probably psychologists, think saying "No" is not the way to go, but with DS1 it is.

What about the 8mo who bites when feeding? I would say "No" and stop feeding. But then I would say "No bite, no bite please." Not all mothers want to prepare for the potential problem by using bottles instead. Sometimes babies will hurt us, and we will say "OW!". Much scarier for a baby than a firm but gentle "No."
Personally I think using "No" is OK. But that's just me.

Tbh I try to avoid no as far as possible with my 2 and they are 3 and 20m! I'm a big believer in distraction and turning whatever it is into fun. I don't want to label my children in their own mind as naughty.

I'd move the hand, pretend to eat it, tickle, hide face with nappy, pretend I couldn't see the nappy, pretend to put it on his head, more tickling, you get the idea :)

Plus totally pointless at 8m what are you like! He's just playing with you, take the time to enjoy it.

'I don't want to label my children in their own mind as naughty.'

Why do you think the word 'no' would lead a baby to believe they were 'naughty'? Saying 'that's naughty' may make them think that, the word 'no' is not intrinsically linked with being naughty, particularly in the mind of a 9 month old baby. A small child doesn't know 'the rules', telling them 'no don't pinch/scratch/bite me' is informing them, not telling them off or labelling them as naughty.

I say 'no' to my children whenever it needs to be said, none of them are naughty, none of them believe themselves to be naughty.

Well zoo I do it my way and that works for us also. Why is this so nb to you? Use no if you want. They are your children after all. I am jusy saying what I do and trying to give some insight into why.

And of course no (depending on the tone used) can label a child naughty. Why not deflect the issue, if you can, into something more positive?

I started telling ds no about 7mo with a frown and serious tone while moving him away, at the time people said he's far to small but he did understand quickly, he's 11mo now and when I tell him no he stops doing whatever he's doing, he will stand near the heater but never touch it and wags his finger at it saying 'it it it', he also hands things over he's not ment to have when I say show mummy what u have he shows me and if I say ta he will give me it usually while squeeling in a rage but he hands it over. I'd say he does as he's asked about 80% of the time.

I don't see the point in distracting then suddenly they get to 18mo or whatever age and are suddenly being told off for doing things as far as they know they are allowed to do. Babies understand much more that people think they do imo and what they don't understand to start with they soon click on to.