The Mummy Olympics. What's your event?

[wilbur]

TARGET PRACTICE: I can accurately apply calamine lotion to a wriggling 8 month old in less than 5 minutes. Which is much harder than archery or shooting as my target is moving.

WEIGHTLIFTING: I can carry a buggy full of baby, shopping, coats and toys up and down 43 station steps twice a day.

What would you gold-medal in?

The 4 room tidy up sprint - I can zoom around a bedroom, living room, kitchen and playroom, straightening and putting away in the 30 seconds it takes DS to put his shoes on by the front door before we go out.

i'm a gold winner in the worrying event.
i will maintain my gold status throughout their lives.

decathlon - 10 things at once!

Synchronised Football

DS is currently insisting on taking two balls to the park at a time so he doesn't have to share one with me even for a second.

pmsl at synchro football. Do you smile inanely all the time while you're playing?

I sure do, although it's a struggle to get ds to wear the noseclip

I have a gold medal in Stairclimbing, what I need is always at the wrong end of the stairs! Also Olympic sized booming voice when attention is not being paid. Silver in "Mummm, where's my...." - new event.

ds1 chasing- best time invariably whilst yelling @tidy the bloody playroom'

two kid carrying- I'm in the 5 + 6 year old specialist category now

the side step: dodging dd toys on the floor whilst chasing after her making sure she isn't doing something she shouldn't be (10mths!)

am an expert at the Panic Dash - my acceleration from an 'at rest' position to source of outraged shriek/terrible crashing noise/spilling beaker/escaping toddler/baby-waking ringing phone etc has to be seen to be believed.

the long distance keep away from mumsnet. I think I've got my endurance up to about 3 hours. I'm training hard to get it to a whole day.

I'd get a gold medal in bullsh**ng to DH about what I've been doing all day.

pmsl scienceteacher

Training not going so well today then, hat?

Head Jumping: In the giddy half hour between tea, bath and dad's arrival home from work, I often lie prostrate on the rug and let the boys jump on my head merely for their own amusement.

gold medal in "having eyes in the back of your head for new walkers" and bronze in "realizing that when it's quiet, they're up to something" ! she's only 1 next week for pity's sake!

Loo Roll decathalon - I can make at least 10 things from a loo roll

I'd take gold in Cooking With One Hand. (But probably wouldn't win Masterchef)

Trolley Wrestling - getting a 2 year old to sit in a trolley when they don't want to. I am so good I usually draw quite an audience by the time he is strapped in...

Diversion and Distraction Achieved by Lifting 18mth old Over My Head Upside Down, twin event. Am expert. Tipping him upside down always seems to take his mind off whatever he was about to do, so it happens a lot in our household!

And the Ikea Triathlon. ds always decides he's had enough before we even get into the "bits and bobs" interesting section below so I am expert at major distraction while choosing 25 new things I didn't know I needed until I saw them, then getting out through the warehouse into the cafe before meltdown.

They should include the Ikea Triathlon in the 2012 Olympics - you start with a trolley and a happy, well-fed 18mo and see how fast you can get to the checkout with 1 (one) specified item... time penalties for screams, cafe stops and unneccesary purchases!

my olympic event is currently sleeping. i now go down when dd does - 7.45pm. at easter our neighbours had a jolly dinner party and my dp said half-jokingly "don't they know we are all in bed by 7.45pm in our house?"

HF, i read that as with a 'small spit' & thought eeeewww!
at all these, i'd like to steal jools' decathlon, often found doing at least 10 things at once these days!

I won a gold in puking at the Pregnancy Olympics last time but luckily I think this time it's only going to be a silver .