I know I respond differently to my children.

[Battlefront]

Mainly because they are different I suppose.

Yesterday DS2 (9yo) committed a misdemeanour which is more usually committed by DS1 (11yo). There is a very standard punishment, issued without fail when DS1 does it (unusual now, as the consistent punishment has been effective)

Anyway, when DS2 was caught, I issued the same punishment calmly and left the room. The effect of doing this to DS1 would have been lots of shouting and telling me what a terrible parent I am etc and my feelings on the matter would be "you deserve your punishment" etc.

DS2 cried! Was heartbroken about the privilege being removed and had a list of "evidence" about why it wasn't fair, Ds1 wasn't treated as harshly etc. It made it so much harder for me to stick to what I'd said. I did, but it was so hard.

Their reactions were different, so you reactions were different...it happens.

Would this punishment have been given to DS1 when he was 9yo? If so, then you were fair and consistent (which also sends a message to DS1 that you have no intention of playing favourites - helps to prevent either of them playing you!).

Some children react with anger and some with tears, it's just different personality types. Don't feel bad that it was hard, tears are often far more difficult to deal with than temper.

Good for you for sticking to your guns and being consistent.
It takes guts and sometimes a heart of steel but one day they will thank us! I'm continually apologising to,and thanking my mum as DD gets older and does more of the crap that I used to

I think it makes it highly unlikely that DS2 will repeat behaviour, presumably if this was the punishment for this offence DS2 knew this so he can not of been surprised, tears maybe because he hates punishment maybe because he lost the privilege maybe thinking it could guilt trip you out of following through for first offence etc.being upset at been caught out

if this punishment has been consistently given it is not unfair