not coping very well

[cleoowen]

Generally after a slow start breastfeeding is ok and I am not having many problems,on that front.

However, over the past week my 4 week old has begun cluster feeding in the late afternoon into the evening and I not dealing with it very well. When he's not feeding it feels,like all he is doing is crying for food. It is getting earlier each day and I feel like when he is on the breast he is not feeding productively and is just sucking without swallowing.

I know this because at night he feeds very well and sucks and swallows in a rhythm. But it is a challenge to keep him awake.

I think I am getting frustrated as I know he can feed properly and feel he's just comfort feeding in the day. He can feed for 25 mins and fall asleep then cry half an hour later. He sometimes falls asleep and I take him off but he will cry for food shortly after.

I am finding myself in tears most days,and very frustrated. Plus, because,he is feeding so much my
Milk is not having a chance,to replenish. So think this is,part,of the problem for not feeding,productively.

Taking fenugreek for this and expressing,in morning to try and full him up more in evening. no results,so far.

Anyone help? Can't do this for much longer.

May be worth posting in the feeding section. But cluster feeding is normal and very common though very draining.
With my first I just about hung on in there but dreaded the post 4pm he'll zone so much I was in tears at times. I'm pregnant with number 2 and if its the same will have no issue at all with giving some formula at this time.
Your very early on to be expressing, it may just be making things a bit worse all round.
Hang on in there it will get easier, the more the baby suckles the more you will produce. Make sure you're well hydrated and fed. Good luck.

My ds (now 9 weeks) was doing this from around 4 weeks onwards. Seeming to be hungry but then not feeding properly and making a huge fuss both on and off the breast. It was hard especially as the one 'fail safe' soothing tool- breastfeeding- seemed to be failing! Someone on here suggested that he wasn't hungry, just tired. They were right! Or at least, if he is hungry, he gets too tired and befuddled to feed properly. Now when he is like that me or dp puts him in the sling or rocks him for a while (in the afternoon you cd go for a walk with the pram) and after even a short sleep he feeds much better.

We still tend to have a couple of grizzly hours in the evening, but instead of constantly trying to feed him we spend more time soothing.

OP, head on over to the feeding section where you'll get loads of help.

The early days ARE hard but you will get through it. Cluster feeding doesn't last forever though it bloody feels like it at the time!

One thing I do have to say though is that you said that your milk doesn't have time to replenish. This isn't true. Breasts aren't like buckets and are more like rivers and you can never run out of milk.

Thanks for replies. Wouldn't mind so much if just the evening but was from 12.15 this afternoon today. Although to start with think it was over-stimulation as I had friends,over who were holding him. Do tend,to try several other things first which might work on a temporary basis and when he's still crying resort to feeding.

Yes, think sometimes it is tiredness. He gets himself so worked up as think missing cues it hard to calm him down. But then put him down for sleep half hour later crying and not a productive feed,after as,my milk just is not producing I think. At times he comes off,breast himself or will not take it again but screams for food shortly afterwards.

Yes, heard have to be careful with expressing,as your body can think you don't need milk at that time and not produce,it but going to take the,risk as cannot carry on feeding all the time and boobs need a rest.

Coz the issue is in the afternoon, evening maybe I should give the expressed bottle in the afternoon to rest milk supply ready for evening cluster feeding? Rather than at 6/7 like now.

OP, I don't think you quite understand how milk production works in BF.

Every time you express or put baby to breast, it sends a signal to the breast to make MORE milk. BF works on demand and supply. The more you demand from them, the more milk they will make, NOT less.

Boobs don't need a rest between feeds, though you yourself might!

When your DS comes off the boob, try offering him the other one and see if he'll take it. If he still seems hungry after coming off that the other boob, put him back on the first one. This is called switch nursing and is the quickest way to produce more milk. Once your supply has been uppped due to this, you'll find that your DS may well be calmer.

It could be overstimulation as you say, if you think he might be overtired could you both spend a day or two in bed together?

My dd used to wake after a feed in the afternoon but would settle in a sling. We used the close. Will he settle in a sling or for someone else?

My DS was different than dd though. He sounds a little like your DS and looking back I think he had tongue tie and upper lip tie. Have a look here.

Of course this could all be normal baby behaviour .

Agree with the others though, perhaps best to get this thread moved to the Breast & Bottlevsection. Maybe ringing one of the bfing helplines would help too

Sorry for the typos

Thanks,guys. At the moment he s not big enough for the sling but will be using it when he is.

Expressing not working at the moment, however,he,is taking the bottle now which is,great but,drinks a bit at,a time and doesn't seem to full him up as,he still wants,my breast afterwards.

Started writing things down as hv suggested to see if any pattern, try and,find,out,why doing this.

Also trying to feed longer as think perhaps wasn't feeding long enough.

Trouble is,it is making me,anxious about having people,over or going out in the day to see,people as,feel he will just cry when not feeding and,I hate trying to comfort him with people watching and judging and,thinking oh she's stressed, she can't quiet her baby.

Honestly sweetie, what they're really thinking is 'oh what a lovely baby, I hope that lady's okay, I wonder if she'll let me hold the baby for a minute...? Mmmm bet that baby smells lovely....'

When this happened to me, I tucked me and baby up in bed and got the box set of Greys Anatomy to watch and watched, and watched and watched. It all went okay and yours will too. Have faith in yourself and try to relax into this whole BF thing. Sounds as though you're putting pressure on yourself.

Hi i can't really help an awful lot but your post has just brought back memories of my life exactly 6 years ago with my DS (and first born). He would cluster feed every evening too and it was so exhausting. It would start around 4pm and would last until midnight/1am sometimes. My HV was no use whatsoever as she just dismissed what i was telling her with 'he can't possibly be feeding for that long'. At the time, i also thought i couldn't possibly be producing enough milk to meet his demand and i could never work out when to switch sides and i felt 'empty'. Since then, as part of my job, i went on a breast feeding course for health professionals and therefore became aware of the physiology behind bf; if your baby is at your breast there will always be milk for it. As some else also wrote, your body produces milk through supply and demand and at 4 weeks your body is still adjusting in order to recognise the pattern of when your baby will need milk during the day. Your baby could also be cluster feeding in order to bring your supply up. I wouldn't recommend you express at the moment as by pumping in the morning you are then making your body think that lots of milk is needed in the morning and if you then give a bottle of ebf in the afternoon you are then telling your body that your baby doesn't need as much milk in the afternoon iyswim, so you could potentially make the cluster feeding in the evening worse.
I can't really remember now exactly what we did in the end to stop it but a gentle routine definitely did make a big difference and i think by 7 weeks things had settled down. Tiredness was also a big factor i think in ds's cluster feeding as he was rubbish at day time sleeps and couldn't put himself to sleep at all for the first 4 months so i used to have to take him for a walk every afternoon come rain or shine, just so he would have a sleep (not great with a winter baby).
Big hugs to you as i really know what it's like and although it really doesn't feel like there's light at the end of the tunnel, it really will get better - promise!!