Tip and book on parenting with two.

[Cbell]

I find it hard to believe its possible to parent two children but by this Summer I will have a 2.7 year old DD and mystery baby 0.0.

So how do I cope? Tips, tricks of the more experienced would be greatly appreciated. How can I prepare and any books I should read?

No. 2 has it hard
No tiptoing round, trying to adjust to baby's needs or anything - whatever you do with DD, baby will go along too. They wait for a feed, or have it early if it doesn't fit in with pre-school, toddler group etc. Nap in the car on the way to whereever. If it's tired it'll carry on sleeping when you get it ourt of the car to go in the buggy, if not it'll wake up and sllep later. No. 2 is sooo much easier I had 2.8yrs between my two and it worked just fine.

Dd was 2.9 when ds born 9 weeks ago.

First of all, don't panic! I did, but it's fine.

Does dc1 go to childcare currently? If so, wd highly recommend keeping that on for 1-2 days if finances allow (plus they get 15 hrs/week free at 3yo). For my dd it is 'her' thing and kept some continuity in her life. And for me- well, my days alone with the baby feel like a breeze! A real sanity saver.

Make the most of the first few weeks when baby sleeps all the time, to read stories and spend quality time with dc1. Baking etc if you are up to it. This seemed to squash any jealous feelings dd was having, and was nice for me too.

Get her a 'baby' of her own- dd loves sitting with me to 'breastfeed' and talk about our babies. Yest she said 'oh, other-woman, this big baby is giving me grief! '

Make sure changing bag is packed at all times and coats/hats/shoes organised. Leaving the house can be a real flashpoint for us (sometimes we all end up crying). Or whatever is a potential flashpoint for you, get organised around that aspect of life so you don't end up frazzled.

And finally- duplo! It's the one toy dd will play with, unsupervised, for agesat a time.

Oh, also, top tip gleaned from mumsnet: when baby squeaks when you're playing w dc1, say 'just a minute [dc2] I'm busy with [dc1] right now' or similar, so dc1 doesn't feel they're the only one having to compromise on mummy time!

Enjoy it. It is hectic,but fab. Last night when dd said 'night night [baby brother], I love you', I thought, it's so worth it.

Hi I have 4yo ds and 11 week old dd. Get in a stock of dvds / toys that you can use for the older child shortly after baby is born. Hopefully you'll have dp around for paternity leave for the first 2 weeks but after that you'll need a little extra help in the form of excess tv / toy distraction! It won't be for long, just a few weeks, and no child is going to adversely suffer from a short-term tv overload. It does help reduce stress levels though as you can sit and feed baby on the sofa and watch a film with dd - spending time with both children = win : win scenario!

I have a great book called 'The Parenting Book' by Nicky and Sila Lee - no points for imaginative title but it is a very easy read, helpful and practical and written in an encouraging way. Some parenting books make you feel a complete failure before you've finished the first chapter. One of the biggest pointers I've taken from it (I've only read the first couple of chapters so far) is a reminder to think of the longer-term picture, and not sweat the small stuff so much. It is easy when you have more than one child to get caught up in the here and now demands and get stressed about child not eating their veg / taking ages getting ready for school / making a mess everywhere. You can find yourself constantly charging round like a mad thing trying to police both children and shouting at the older one 9because you can hardly shout at the baby). The book reminded me that actually it might be more important for ds to think of mealtimes as fun rather than getting cross all the time because he won't eat enough of his chicken nuggets.

Enjoy the remainder of your solo time with dd before 1 becomes 2! x

Get out of the house every day.

Baby number 2 - stick in a sling, feed, change and that's all they need.

It gets harder when DC2 starts grabbing and moving!

Try and keep to DC1's routine for the first few months.

Get help, loads of it

Did I say get outside?

Oh and don't read books. They make you feel crap.