How do you keep your cool??

[Iwish]

My DS is 15mo. He is a lovely little boy, i love him to pieces and he loves me loads too.
But he is driving me crazy!! He seems to have hit the terrible 2s already and he's driving me to breaking point.
He does everything I tell him not to. When I say no he keeps doing it and laughs while doing it. I move whatever it is I don't want him to touch and he finds something else to do naughty. He throws himself on the floor and screens when he doesn't get his own way. He cries and moans as soon as he gets in the car and carries on until we take him out. Could be 40 minutes screaming which drives me insane. He cries when he sees me putting brekkie/lunch/tea out and hangs round my legs for me to pick him up.

I honestly don't know what to do. I'm losing my temper with him and am constantly shouting at him. He doesn't listen to a word I say.

How do you cope??

Haven't got much time to post now but have a look at Little Angels or Tiny Tearaways by Dr Tanya Byron on amazon.

Earplugs (seriously) - you can't hear the whining if you hum in your head

Music in the car

Distraction obviously, "oh my goodness rugrat, there's a giant pink elephant over there" followed by singing

Go for a piss (put kid in playpen)

You have my sympathy. My DS is 14mo and is starting tantrums (throwing head back, pretend crying etc) when he doesn't get his own way but they only last 10 seconds so I'm watching with interest. I find he climbs 2 or 3 of our stairs and sits waiting for me, he knows he's not allowed to go up the stairs so he's doing it for my attention as its usually when I'm trying to do dinner.

My only suggestion would be to tackle one thing at a time, like finding a way to put out lunch/breakfast/tea and keeping him calm or happy. Not really got any clues how to do this unless you could involve him with it, like give him his bowl and spoon to carry to the table?

Then once this is sorted tackle the next thing, like the car journeys. Again no real help but to maybe try distracting him with his favourite food for a 2 min trip down the road and back again. Then reward the good behaviour and tell him lots that he was very good in the car so that's why he's allowed 10 mins extra tv time or something along these lines?

Sorry probably not much help, and someone a lot more experienced will come along soon.

You are at the worst time with him, believe me! He is old enough to be starting the terrible two's (usually starts before 2) yet not old enough to understand reason or discipline. It is so so hard, I remember - ds is now 4yo. You have to try to remember that this is his frustration at suddenly realising that the world is an exciting place, but he doesn't have the motor skills or maturity yet to explore it - he isn't trying to drive you crazy, he is just getting easily frustrated. The best thing to do is to try to distance yourself - when he kicks off tantruming at home, while you might feel like throwing him out the nearest window, instead pick him up and carry him through to the living room, deposit him on the floor where he can't hurt himself (assuming you have a rug or carpet) then walk out the room and pull the door to behind you. Don't say anything, just appear calm. You might have to keep doing it, but after a while he'll exhaust himself. Eventually he'll figure out that screaming = dumped in living room and mum doesn't appear bothered. When you yell back (don't worry, guilty here as charged - we're only human) he gets a reaction, so has incentive to keep doing it. It doesn't stop the tantrums, but it may reduce them, and gives you a routine to follow in those situations to help stop you going crazy.

When ds was nearly 2yo we started using the naughty spot - a mat in our dining room - as per Supernanny. I never expected him to stay put and imagined repeated depositings on it every time he got off it, but to my amazement he stayed put and it totally worked. We still use it now, and he has never once got off it when we have put him there. All children are different and that may not work for all of them, but maybe the age we started helped. You leave them on it for a minute per year of their age, then you go to them and calmly (and succinctly) explain why you put them on it and what they did tthat was naughty, then you ask them to say sorry, then you give them a hug and say it's okay. your ds may be too young to understand all this for a little while, but I have found using the naughty spot a complete lifesaver.

And don't beat yourself up when you do lose it and shout - any mum who doesn't lose it occasionally should be knighted. x

Lauries I am in hysterics about the giant elephant and going for s piss, I'm giggling out loud

www.amazon.co.uk/Baby-Einstein-Take-Along-Tunes/dp/B000YDDF6O/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby&ie=UTF8&qid=1357677893&sr=1-1 And this for car rides - can't praise the thing highly enough. Flashing lights, music and a cute bug - distracts the most indistractable of toddlers.

Thanks guys. I do know he's not trying to be naughty but sometimes id give anything just to superglue him to the wall.
If I put him in the living room (or any room without me) he would just scream until I go back to him - is that ok?

What can I do with him when he's doing something naughty and carries on doing it?? For example when we are in the bathroom he always goes for the toilet brush. Totally discusting so I take it off him and say so but he just goes back for it again!! He will just keep going and going. Without tying his hands behind his back I'm stuck! I'm sick of him doing naughty things.

Lol I just wet myself laughing at the elephant and the piss too!!

My DS had a thing with the dog water bowls. I simply removed them from their usual spot for a week or two and then when I quietly put them back he had lost interest, so maybe try that with the toilet brush? Remove it from the normal spot and see what he does (probably will find something else to play with but its worth a try).

I too find the elephant and piss funny, but actually have found myself going for a wee when I didn't really need to just for a minute of peace and quiet to myself. And to take a deep breath and count down the minutes till wine oclock bed time

How long do you leave him to scream when you put him in a room without you? It may not be as long as you think, have you timed it?

Yes no problem about continuing to scream in the other room! It sounds horribly cruel and is torture to listen to, but for your own peace of mind leave the door open a crack and peek in at him from time to time. He'll tire at some point (the first couple of times might take a while as he'll be expecting you to go in to him). If he just keeps going and you can't take it anymore, try going in and calmly try to give him a hug or say brightly "now what's all this silliness?!" If the wailing turns to gulps and the odd sob, you're maybe onto a winner. If the screaming goes up an octave, put him back down and leave the room again. Good luck! x