Why is DS behaving like this?

[Sorelip]

DS is 12 months old. I'm a SAHM and DH works out of the house most of the day. All through the day DS is himself, happy, charging around destroying the place, etc. When DH gets home, DS is happy at first, but then gets really clingy and cries a lot for seemingly no reason.

When I leave DS with DH he is absolutely fine until I arrive back, or come into view, then he starts getting upset and cries again. It's as if when there's the two of us available, he gets upset.

DS gets lots of affection from both of us, etc, so what is going on?

Not exactly sure, except that at around 10-12 months they go through a very clingy phase. He is more likely to be clingy with you than with dh as he spends all day with you. He may have some separation anxiety - fear that when dh is there, you might leave him. Or fear that your attention will turn to dh and away from him. Or he may be acting up to get more dh attention as he sees less of him. My ds is now 4yo and we have certainly been through phases where he has acted a bit like this in the evenings. Highly excited when dh comes home, then highly strung and really quite demanding. It has been worse when dh has been working longer hours or at the weekend and ds has seen less of him. It doesn't sound like anything you are doing, I would just ride it out and help him feel reassured that you're not going anywhere, or if you pop out or go in the shower you'll be coming back. x

I have a 19mo DS and a SAHM and this is a common behaviour in our house too. It seems to come and go in waves but I know it can be quite upsetting for the DH. I try and push through by letting bath time be a Daddy/Son time, there is usually screaming for 30secs as I leave the room but I can hear after that them playing and my DS forgetting he didn't want to be with Daddy. I then go off and get his bedroom and milk ready. Funnily enough it never seems to really happen on the weekends for us, just weekday evenings when DH gets home from being at work all day.

Evenings are always a tricky time and with both of you there giving him attention he may just be getting overstimulated. Try dealing with him one at a time.

Thank you for the tips. I know DH gets a bit upset by it, though he doesn't say anything. Bath time will now be daddy time.