Another pocket money thread

[chicaguapa]

DC are 11 & 8 and have been asking for pocket money for ages now and we've never got around to setting it up. The main reasons being:

• They get quite a bit of money from family and last year they got around £200 for their birthday and just got £80 for Christmas (as well as presents). They have savings accounts that they pay their money into, though they complain that we don't let them spend it (We do, just not on impulse buys)
• We're not organised enough to have cash every week. We could set up a standing order into their accounts but then I feel we'd be encouraging them to spend money in the account.
• If we give it in cash, I think their mission will be to spend it because they've got it.
• We want them to help out more around the house and don't want to link this to payment as they'll just decide not to do the jobs because they don't really need the money (see reason number 1)

What are your thoughts to this? Am I being too controlling over their money and do they have to learn the hard way? Should I just relax and give them pocket money or are our reasons reasonable?

Thanks.

IME it's hard watching your DC blow their pocket money on rubbish, but it's probably an important learning process for them - managing their money; saving, budgeting, understanding the value of money. Also a way of learning about themselves. Self-discipline, how it feels to own something that they've bought by saving etc.

How about setting up new accounts for them and giving them a small amount of pocket money by standing order?

They might not feel the need to spend it - sometimes things that seem appealing lose their attraction when it's a choice of that or having some money.

I agree that 'blowing their money on rubbish' is a process most go through, and my philosophy is I'd rather they learned about saving / wasting money or choosing to buy from one place rather than another, or choosing to save up for something rather than have the instant gratification of sweet now, with the £1 a week I give them as pocket money, than when they start work or go to university, and 'blowing' everything instantly can have more serious consequences.
We keep the birthday / Christmas money apart from PM though, like you, they can spend b'day / C'mas money out of their a/cs if it is on something they've saved up for and thought about. Pocket money however is their own to do as they want with. However, we will not give them money for something they want if they've chosen to blow their weekly money on other stuff - that would negate the point rather.
When you ask on here, the amount of money people give varies enormously, but my 11 yr old gets £1.10 a week, and when they were 8, they got 80p a week... surely it's not that hard to have that much change in the house ?

I give my 2 £20 each month but they have to do jobs to earn it. They keep hold of the money and spend it as they see fit but I now only buy them things they need and they can choose to spend money on what they want, save it or fritter it away. Whatever they do with it is their business but they get nothing else from me and have soon learned not to blow it at the earliest opportunity.

I'd trust your kids a bit more and make them earn what you give them and so have money to do with what they want.

DS saves his and DD spent hers before realising that it was far better to save it for things she really wanted.

My sons are 12 and 9 and each receive £20 a month for "excellent behaviour". This is judged my myself and DP. In order to get the money they have to be perfect in school and home with no strops or refusal to do jobs (washing-up, spelling tests, making beds etc) that are randomly asked of them. So in that way they don't earn it by doing specific chores, just for doing as they are asked. They can earn more money for doing extra chores but neither have ever gone through with that. My eldest son has autism and behavioural issues so he rarely gets the full amount (£5 is deducted at a time) but he knows its only for exceptional behaviour so he can't complain.

Oh, also that money is to buy toys or treats, games, magazines for the month so they can't ask me for anything else. I do buy them books they like though because there is no way they'd prioritise a new book over Lego Hero Faxtory.

I found that ds1(12) expected money once he started secondary school, to go to cinema, into local town centre etc. Dishing out £10 every week was getting too much so h now has to do a paper round every Saturday morning for which he gets between £11- £16 a week.
This goes into his bank account and he doesn't ask me for anything now, its giving him some work ethic also.

Taking on board your point about not having the cash lying around to give them, what about a virtual bank account? You agree a set amount each week/ month and keep a record of this. You then add/take away from it accordingly when they want something.