Struggling with the transition from boyhood and beyond

[MrRected]

I feel so out of my depth. As usual the manual is missing.

My ds1 is 11y8m. He is v tall (just 2cm short of 6ft) and has always been emotionally mature beyond his years.

The thing is - he's found himself a girl. It's been 100% FaceTime/phone since the met a couple of months ago. They talk for hours and seem to get on really well. They have met in person today - with other friends and gone to the cinema. I am waiting to collect him and realise that I am totally out if the loop.

Is this too soon? What is appropriate? What are the rules these days.... I just don't know what's acceptable & normal.....

Help???

Bump... Sorry but super desperate for any advice from preteen parents.

Nothing :(

he is 11, nearly 12, at that age I would still be pushing friendship groups rather than boyfriend/girlfriend so going to the cinema in a gang is a great idea.

I don't have experience of facetime but I would be saying to you check for inappropriate behaviour or requests from him, have you access to his phone and computer at all times. It isn't that you don't trust him, it's more of being able to monitor his actions

You're a couple of years ahead of me....I have a slightly precocious 9 year old girl.

But did just want to chip in and say that I think your sudden panic is totally normal

When dd left the house on her 9th birthday to walk alone to the newsagents for the first time I had no idea if it was too soon, too late, too dangerous, or what the rules were: cue sudden panic. I think its to do with feeling a 'next level' of separation and out of my own comfort zone!

FWIW, in your case, I think cinema with friends sounds perfect. Will he talk to you about his new friend? Is he open about it all? Its all so much harder these days, with technology making it harder for parents to supervise much!

Wow so tall but so young! It must be hard to match the two sometimes, i mean remembering that he's just a kid.

Is he in year 7?

Just wondering why there is any suggestion of this young man suggesting anything 'inappropriate'? It all sounds very normal and healthy and I'm sure the parents of his 'girl' friend are equally unsure and looking to support their daughter in a happy first foray into a more mature relationship too. I hope they have a lovely trip to the cinema and he comes home all smiley