DS - 16 months, throwing things, hitting and head butting

[vallinnapod]

I am sure it is just a phase and down to the frustrations of not being able to verbalise anything yet but....

DS has taken to throwing his toys over the past couple of weeks. I mean held up as high as he can and flung. Not necessarily at us but invariably my ankles and shins take the hit. His particular favourite is to hurl the remote at my head/face. Prior to this he would fling his food and beaker on the floor, normally when he had finished.

He also hits/pushes. I wouldn't really say hits but his pushes back from us when trying to settle him if he wakes in the night. And is really terrible fro clawing.

On top of his he now produces a nasty little Glasgow kiss. My nose actually popped the other day.

None of it seems malicious. In fact, the majority is down with a grin and a howl of laughter.

Yesterday I removed the toys he threw and hid them outside. When he throws toys out of the bath, they stay there. With all of it I come down to his level, hold his shoulders and say "Do not throw/head butt etc" in a serious/firm voice. But he absolutely wets himself with laughter.

I am sure he is too little to really understand right from wrong at this age. I also wonder if it just a stage we should ignore, but I am also concerned if I do ignore it he will think he can behave this way in the future.

confused - thanks!

Do not ignore, firmly admonish each and every time. Take toys away if repeated. He can get the idea "I throw that and it's gone" by now.

You may have to escalate to proper scolding and even angry tones if he doesn't get idea quickly, but truth is he has no empathy, no idea that it genuinely bothers you. So build up slowly to the proper telling off.

Does he get lots of outdoor excercise to tire him out?

Do you watch the 'E' numbers he eats or drinks?

Otherwise persevere with stern admonisments and praise and reward loving behaviour.

He is only just walking - quite confident indoors but hasn't grasped he can walk outdoors yet! I am longing for the time we can run him around a bit We do go for a pushchair walk at least once a day, soft play or swimming - generally something to tire him out. If I think about it it tends to happen later in the day so it could be tiredness related?

He doesn't have any e-numbers. Only drinks water (lots of) and milk at bed time. Plenty of fruit/veggies. He's a dustbin. So lots of rice cakes too (the Organix ones plus no salt adult ones).

Thanks for the tips.

I should have added, this has all coincided with the Christmas break from nursery, lots of travelling to family etc so he could just be a bit discombobulated/bored!

He could be frustrated with the change of routine, vallinnapod eh?

16 month old boy here too :) little darlings aren't they?

DS throws toys, food, bangs his head on everything (not purposely on people yet though) and likes to pretend bite. All normal for their age I think. He's not talking yet either (not even one word) and I agree a lot is probably frustration. Mine is also just walking and I can't wait to get him outdoors to burn off some energy :)

I don't tend to ignore much of his behaviour as the throwing thing can be an issue in a play group situation (where he unintentionally lobs toys behind him and they hit children...) so I firmly tell him not to throw toys, but also label and voice his frustration, eg. "I can see you're frustrated but its not ok to throw your toys X " then I try to distract with something else. The biting (or any aggression towards others) is quickly responded to with a loud 'no' and removal from the situation. I often just put him away from me/other child and ignore him for a few seconds afterwards.

Everything I read suggests distraction, distraction, distraction at this age. Hard work though isn't it?!

walk away quietly and quickly, don't give him the attention he is seeking. Leave the room if it's safe enough.

if he was a little older I would suggest time out or naughty step but he is only 16 months.

vannillapod lol at your son not knowing he can walk outside :-)
My DD has just hit 16 months as well, and I feel like this is the age where things get challenging. i follow hand in hand parenting, and this helped me a lot to deal with some difficult behaviour in my DD such as biting and screaming (which was driving me crazy!) the behaviour has completely stopped now since I tried using hand in hand listening tools.
Hand in Hand is a method that helps you deal with the off track emotions, behind a child's behaviour.

I have to say that I disagree 3smellysocks with what you are saying.

when children do things that are a bit 'off track' it's because they NEED our attention. not attention seeking in the common sense of the word as a negative thing, but because they actually need lots of attention.

So if you walk out of the room. you are abandoning him, and will actually make him feel worse, and much more likely to use off track a behaviour at a later date, in order to get your attention. Ditto time out, which temporarily restores good behaviour because the child is eager to rejoin the family, but in the long run, that feeling of disconnection, and the hurt of being punished, will resurface and actually make the child's behaviour even worse!

When children feel like this they can't think logically or understand our rational adult explanations for why this and that is naughty.

They need us to step in and connect with them, so you could gently but firmly grab the toy he's about to throw and say, ' I can't let you throw that' in order to set a limit. You could also try playing some fun games around the theme of throwing, anything that gets him giggling, can help release the tension and make him feel warmly connected with him.

If he's hitting a lot then again try and step in and set a limit before the hitting happens, being gentle and firm, you could also at another time, use some playful physical wrestling games, can help him channel the aggression, again anything that gets laughter going (without tickling) can help release the fear which is behind aggressive behaviour

Here is a short article on setting limits that mentions toy throwing

www.handinhandparenting.org/news/59/64/Setting-Limits-with-Young-Children

and here's another one that explains about what to do when your child hits.

www.handinhandparenting.org/news/13/64/Biting-Pushing-Pulling-Hair-Helping-Children-with-Aggression

hope this helps!

Thanks - I will have a good read through that site.