Another night on the mattress on the floor....

[MySonIsMyWorld]

This is my 5th (i think....) night on the floor on a mattress in my 19 mo DS room, i'm "trying" to get him into his own cot after sleeping with us for way too long now, it did work fine and we were all happy but then he stopped settling at night so i felt like now is the right time to put him in his own room.

My ds is a hair baby (likes to play with hair to get to sleep) so the first few nights i lay on my mattress next to the cot with my head glued to the side of the cot while he has hair to get him to sleep, anyway it takes like 3 hours for this to happen but he eventually would fall asleep in his cotbed and MISSON COMPLETE! But then when he wakes in the night he screams and screams and screams so in the end i ended up getting in his cot with him and falling back to sleep.....i carnt just leave him crying ive tried it and its awful.

Anyway now i feel we have taken a huge massive step backwards because now he is falling asleep on my chest on my mattress and so am i! Part of me things hey at least he is in his own room but the other half of me is thinking hmm yeah but he should be in his cot....ive tried to transfer him to his cot but he just wakes up straight away...

I'm shattered also as DP is a shit and doesnt lift a finger when i go up with ds at 6.45pm so basiclly im a single parent with the added shit of DP being here if you get me...

Can you sleep suggest a way forward? Do you think i should be putting him in his cotbed and sitting next to him or should i continue with the falling asleep in his room on me then try tranferring him for another week then move slowly onto going into this cot bed? Also what am i suppose to do when he is howling at 2am and will not stop!! Do i get in? Cuddle him? I dont want to send him mixed messages as to why he is in his cot etc .....

Some of this may not makes sense ive been up since 3am yesterday with ds so bear with me haha x

If you definitely can't face controlled crying or similar (took 3 nights with my 18 mth ds2 and never looked back) I'd just co sleep and bear in mind it'll pass all too quickly.
This advice may be rather black or white....

I'm hoping that someone with more relevant experience comes along as my dd is younger than this but it sounds like if you've made the decision not to co-sleep anymore then you need to build good sleep associations with his room and cot, starting with a really obvious bedtime routine a good time ahead of when you want him to go to sleep with plenty of wind-down time etc. Tbh if you are going to let him play with your hair for 3 hours then you may as well co-sleep, if you want him to sleep in his own room then he needs a form of comfort that doesnt involve you so I think you maybe need to think about comfortors - could you try the sheep sleep thing? I know it has a lot of newborn settings but also things for older babies. Then to go from co-sleep to own room successfully without CC I guess you need to try a gradual retreat method. I think the mattress in the floor is a good idea to provide lots of reassurance but dont put him to sleep in it as it just gives mixed messages. Say to him at bedtime - mummy is here etc then actually go to sleep on the mattress for a few nughts (rather than just ending up on it when he wakes), then when he wakes, shush him/ reassure him mummy still here etc. A lot of people on here are keen on the supernanny approach which again I think is a gradual retreat method - think it is detailed on supernanny website. Try to avoid using yourself as a sleep prop in his room though as you may as well carry on co-sleeping for a bit longer - would be more comfortable! Also check nothing else going on e.g. teething. Good luck.

Thank you - im seriously questioning if i should just co-sleep again for a while.... as soon as i put him in his cot he screams its horrible! Tonight im doing to get dp to put him in his cot to sleep as ive got to do stupid tax form thingie that will take all night...one more night of trying to go in his cot then tomorrow it may have to be co sleeping once more.... children ay!