People to help in real life

[MarriedToSonOfAPreacherMan]

Who am I supposed to talk to in real life about my problems with DD? I have a horrible feeling it's my health visitor, and I don't want to see her again - she doesn't listen and is generally useless. Would they let me switch to another one? The people at the baby clinic are nice and always helpful, but there's always a queue so not time to talk much and I'd prefer to talk privately anyway. It doesn't seem like a matter for the GP as we're not ill. I know some lovely mums but I want to talk to someone who is (supposed to be) knowledgeable and who can in theory access help for me.

What are your problems? How old is your dd?

Mainly sleep-related, plus my general feelings of inability to cope, and four months. I keep posting on here and it's great as far as it goes, but I'd like to talk to someone face to face.

You can call and arrange to speak to a different health visitor.

Or you could tell us and we can help, we seem to be on a roll with helpful advice tonight!

Gawan, give us a chance

Lovely x post there!

Do you have a sure start centre in your area? Even going to baby toddler clubs and weigh sessions give you a chance to talk to people who are going through the same as you right now, you would be surprised how many will readily admitted how fucking daunting it all is in those first few years.

Ask to speak to a new hv, join a breast feeding group or baby group and get yourself out there, you can also see your doctor if you feel you really arnt coping.

I second sure start. And yes you can see a different hv. I never saw the same one twice tbh! And time is a great healer. I really struggled to cope with dd in the early days, but it got easier and easier every day!

I'm still looking for a baby group I like. So far the only one has been meeting up with my NCT group. I've tried the LLL breastfeeding cafe (hate!), a play and rhyme group (seems pretty futile as the singing's awful and people ignored me when I tried to talk to them), and the sling meet (quite like this one but find it hard to join in as it feels like everyone knows each other really well). Possibly my New Year's resolution should be to try some more!

There is a sure start centre but I thought it was just a place that hosted groups. The HV clinic and the breastfeeding cafe are there but the other stuff they advertise is for dads, young mums or toddlers. Do they have another role? Actually I've recently discovered there's another local one - why does nobody tell you these things?! - that does more interesting things like sensory play and baby massage, so I might try there once they get the new timetable out.

spend a bit of time googling things like "baby groups in x (where you live)" You can get exhaustive lists of all sorts of things with contact numbers and when they run, but I would also advocate sure start and also ringing the HV office number and asking for someone other than your first hv.