DP thinks DD eats too much sugar

[RillaBlythe]

huge argument last night sparked off by DP requiring DD1 (age 4.6) to finish her plate before she had any pudding - which would be the usual i.e. plain yoghurt with dried fruit/date syrup/honey added to it. It winds him up that she will leave some of her main course then have some "sweet" pudding. I maintain that plain yoghurt with sweet additions is not "bad" for her & a second course should not depend on the finishing of the first course.

I think DP is being weird about it because the women in his family tend towards being plump, & both his mother & grandmother have developed diabetes in old age. DD1 has a sweet tooth (as do I). DP thinks she has a crap diet & eats too much sugar.

Yesterday was actually a pretty typical day - she had breakfast of porridge w a spoonful of honey (generally it's porridge with honey/date syrup or weetabix with yoghurt/raisins), a banana, a humous bagel, a gherkin, a satsuma, some yoghurt covered raisins, homemade fishcakes, peas - & the controversial yoghurt pudding followed by one jellybean.

So I suppose the question is - surely that is not too many sweet things? & do you force the finishing of the plate before having pudding of fruit?

two different things here

1: finishing your plate rather than eating to appetite then pudding after - you'll get a range of opinions

2: honey or date syrup, raisins, yoghurt, fruit - yes a LOT of sugars there. make sure that you clean teeth thoroughly and regularly; raisins, then yogurt coated ones, honey, date syrup are all amazingly sticky.

what does she drink?

I can see both sides tbh. No, I don't think your child's diet is unreasonable - it seems perfectly fine to me. But we do have the rule that dinner has to be finished before having desert. Personally, I don't like the idea of food being thrown away because they'd rather eat something else. In our house, we do finish off our plates before having desert. During the week we only tend to have fruit, sometimes yogurts anyway. Sweet stuff is saved for the weekend.

But, and I do think this is significant. I'd you're going to make children to finish off their plates, then I do think they need to have a say as to how much goes on their in the first place. As I'm not a mind reader, I can't randomly decide that she must eat X amount, as I don't know how hungry she is.

Do agree with boys about the sweet stuff though - whilst healthy a lot if that stuff is bad for the teeth.

Drinks milk or water, sometimes drinks watered down juice. Will be back to respond properly later, about to do roast lunch!

Why have pudding at all? I think it's a bad idea - keep them separate. Why reward eating by more eating?!

By making a child finish a plate of food to get a pudding actually encourages overeating.... Which leads to weight gain. The majority of children will want pudding, so if they think they HAVE to finish their plate to get it they may eat more than they would by choice.

You might want to tell your DP that he is teaching her to ignore her body's natural "I'm full" signals and encouraging her to eat whatever she is given, no matter whether she is still hungry or not. That is unhealthy.

As for the sugar - IMO there is a lot of sugar in the day you described.

Personally I would stop making her finish her plate - be guided by HER needs not the plate or another person, and also cut down some of the sugar.

I really don't think that's much sugar. It's not as if you're giving her a mars bar at every snack time!
I grew up with the, must finish your plate full to get pudding, and I think it's very detrimental to eating habits. DS has to make a reasonable attempt at dinner, which basically means over half and not having to be coaxed (but he's only 2.5) to sit still at the table etc.
Everyone has such different ideas about food, the important thing is that you and your DP can reach a compromise you agree on so your dd knows where she stands.

You could be giving her more sugar (mars bars) but he is right in that raisins, honey, date sugar, fruit are all sugar. Also sugar in bread

Also I think forcing a child to finish their meal can lead to obesity as an adult. Really the child should just stop eating when full - at what ever point of the meal they have reached. Pudding isn't essential, just an add on.

Agree it doesn't sound that sugary.
Ours have to eat their veggies to get pudding, and to make a decent effort at whatever else is on plate, but we don't expect them to finish every time.

Agree re not pushing a child to finish plate.

Don't think you've too much sugar there at all though raising are apparently v bad for teeth. Has your DP rhoughts on alternatives?

Don't agree with finishing plate, but do agree with not offering pudding if she's unable to finish it. Really it's just logic - if they've no appetite for main, then they've no appetite for pudding. It sounds quite sugary, but healthy. Fruit is full of natural sugar, but offers plenty of other nutrients so providing she cleans her teeth well i don't see a problem. Had she been eating loads of sweets and chocolate i could see his point.