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Parenting

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Original poster

swiss army pen knife

25 replies

keekeeblue · 29/12/2012 15:46

My 8 yo DS has just come home after spending 4 days with his dad (my XH) and announced that for Christmas his dad gave him a swiss army knife, which will be kept at his dad's. I wouldn't have allowed him to have a swiss army knife as I think he is too young and accidents can happen with knives. I think his dad is totally irresponsible and trying to buy DS affection. It is difficult to talk to XH as whenever I have an opionion that goes against his he becomes volatile. I will be terrified now every time my DS goes to stay with my XH that some knife accident will occur. Am I being unreasonable? What would you do?

OP posts:

storynanny · 29/12/2012 15:53

I would go ballistic.

Original poster

keekeeblue · 29/12/2012 15:57

Thanks, that's how I feel but I'm trying to keep calm before I discuss with XH later in the week and then decide whether to take it further. Would I need to contact social services or a solicitor do you think?

OP posts:

Teahouse · 29/12/2012 16:02

My xH and his wife gave their 8 year old a Swiss Army knife for Xmas too. I am not sure this is legal but would welcome advise as I am considering reporting it to the authorities. It can't be safe and the kid may take it to school.

lidlqueen · 29/12/2012 16:04

for real?
perhaps it is d of e approved and has a rounded tip?
maybe he is using it supervised?
please do find out first!!

lidlqueen · 29/12/2012 16:05

reporting a penknife to the authorities?
has everyone gone mad?

bluerememberedthrills · 29/12/2012 16:06

I think 8 is not a bad age to start to learn to use a knife safely.

But it sounds like you don't trust your XH to teach him to use it responsibly and supervise him until he can.

insancerre · 29/12/2012 16:10

slight over-reaction re reporting to social services
what's to stop any child taking any knife from the house/garage to school if they wanted to?
op, can you not just ask your ex when and how he uses it? maybe text him if you can't manage taling without it getting heated
it's not illegal to carry a swiss army knife

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 29/12/2012 16:11

You are allowed to carry a pocket knife with a blade less than 3 inches. My 9yo has a victorinox knife with a rounded blade and I did teach him how to use a knife when he got it.

ZuleikaD · 29/12/2012 16:11

My 3 yo is learning how to use knives safely - I really think this is a bit of an overreaction. 8 is plenty old enough to be learning about knives. If you're worried, why not keep the knife at your house and make sure of adequate supervision etc?

exexpat · 29/12/2012 16:12

I don't think a penknife for an 8-year-old is a crazy idea - DD is ten and has a collection of about five penknives, the first of which she got when she was four, nearly five (she had been borrowing mine to whittle sticks with so I thought she should have a little one of her own), and she has never had more than a minor cut on her thumb, once. I remember having a penknife before I was 8 too.

It really depends on your DS - is he sensible, does he follow instructions/understand safety rules etc - and of course your exH. But I would have thought some hearty outdoor stuff with penknives & sticks etc was perfectly normal for that age.

lidlqueen · 29/12/2012 16:14

You are allowed to carry a pocket knife with a blade less than 3 inches thats right and with the rounded tip they are quite legal.
what on earth is wrong with everyone - we are supposed to keep our boys as babies til they are 16 and can be trained to kill in afghanistan and become 'heroes'

DorsetKnobwithJingleBellsOn · 29/12/2012 16:16

I git my first pen knife at about the same age, sorry can't see the problem.

YDdraigGoch · 29/12/2012 16:21

Agree with everyone - not a problem. 8 is a perfectly reasonable age to own a penknife.

If he does have an accident with it, he's not going to be able to do much damage. A nasty cut at worst, and that's how kids learn.

Startail · 29/12/2012 16:24

DD had a Swiss Army knife she was given at about that age.

The rule is very simple it doesn't leave the garden or the house and it's taken off her if she is stupid.

Six years later she still has all her fingers and hasn't cut herself once.

I managed three days and still have a faint scar on my finger.

My DParents must have noticed me dripping blood at the dinner table. They didn't say a word and I never cut myself with it again.

lidlqueen · 29/12/2012 16:26

oh i had great fun shutting a swiss army knife on my finger at the age of 10 - imagine these days i would be put into care!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 29/12/2012 16:36

I too got my first pen knife at that age. It is a good age, old enough to understand the seriousness of it, young enough time to not know it all.

exexpat · 29/12/2012 16:39

Just want to add that I expect social services or a solicitor would (quite rightly) just laugh at you if you went to complain about an eight-year-old being given a penknife to be used only at his father's house under supervision. Sorry.

When my DS was that age, The Dangerous Book for Boys was the huge hit of the year - maybe you should get a copy?

JenaiMathis · 29/12/2012 16:54

Social services? The "authorities"?!?!?!

Good lord.

Original poster

keekeeblue · 29/12/2012 17:02

Thank you for all your thoughts. I suffer with anxiety so I now I feel this has overtaken all my sensible reactions. Thank you all for making me feel less anxious about this. My DS loves the outdoors so I am sure with good supervision from his Dad they will have great fun being boys. I will still be nervous but this is going to be my next step on the road to giving him a little more freedom and trust. He is a very sensible and trustworthy boy.

Hoping my cognitive behavioural therapy will start to help with my anxieties soon.

OP posts:

Takver · 29/12/2012 17:08

I definitely agree that 8 is a good age for a Swiss army knife. Much better to teach them to use a knife safely and sensibly while they are young enough to listen!

storynanny · 29/12/2012 17:14

I understand how you feel, I would be anxious about something like that out of my supervision if I wasn't sure about the level of supervision. That's why I said I would go ballistic! I agree with taking considered risks in childhood under supervision.

Original poster

keekeeblue · 29/12/2012 17:17

yes storynanny I think my main worry is that it is out of my control. I obviously want my DS to grow up with trust and independence, I just find everything to do with DS a huge anxiety. I feel a little better, but also a little nervous.

OP posts:

Doshusallie · 29/12/2012 17:24

My 8 year old son is DESPERATE for a pen Knife - I have told him he can have one when he is 10.

PandaG · 29/12/2012 17:37

DS was given one at 8 by my BIL as a thankyou present for being am usher at his wedding - BIL asked our permission first. Initially DH kept the knife for DS, and he used it under our supervision only - though tthis may have been sitting outside whittling a stick while we were in the house. He's been taking it to scout camp since he was 10, and has been taught there how to use it safely. He doesn't take it to school (he's 13) but I can imagine scenarios where he might take it out without us - making dens in the woods, out on a hike for example.

I really don't think 8 is too young as long as he is well supervised when using it at least initially.

Hope the CBT works for you :)

smaths · 29/12/2012 18:19

My granny got me a victorinox swiss army knife when I was 8. I still have have it 25 years later and actually it's quite a treasured possession! I don't see a problem if it's used under supervision initally until he has learned how to use it safely (perhaps why your exh wants it kept at his house?)

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