Lost temper with DD today.

[feelterrible]

Name changer.
DD 11yo has been a trial for a few weeks.Full of challenges.Doing zilch shes expectrd to do. Having to be asked several times to do stuff. Answering back. Just generally being unpleasant and belligerent. I have stresses as well and today I snapped andslapped her on the knee to stop her being destructive after a bit of a war of words.I then uttered those awful words "well you're behaviour drove me to it". Shit, I feel like some sort of domestic abuser - blaming the victim for my actions. But it's the truth - her behaviour has just wrung me out. Help me please to sort this out in my mind.

I think you just proved you're human.

Don't worry, I have done that and other things.

Did she threaten to call Childline?

deep breaths, keep away from her for a whle, then go and have a chat.Tell herhow her bad behaviour makes uou feel.Give her a hug.Tomorrow is anoher day.

Thanks. We've had cuddles and sorries. But I'm really disturbed by those words.Do they make me some sort of domestic abuser?

If you do this regularly, you should be worried. If it's a one off, well just about everyone does something like this at some point. If they say they never have, they've got a weirdly angelic child or they're just lying.

And the fact that you're concerned enough to come on here and admit to it shows that you know it's wrong. It would be worse if you didn't care wouldn't it?

so it's happened once in 11 years, and you feel terrible about it?

I think you can forgive yourself. What you said gives you room for a discussion about anger and losing your cool. You could have said something much worse, IMO.

It won't harm your DD to know that your tolerance has a limit.

I feel your pain. I also have an 11yo DD and she has been driving me insane.

Remember Alec Baldwin's rant to his DD? That was sheer poetry compared to the end-of-my-tether ranting I have been reduced to.

Fortunately, the hell is punctuated by frequent periods of charm, otherwise I'd be phoning Childline to have her removed.

That was a joke. Sort of.

OP you are not alone

I feel you too, my DD is 11 and so far this month I have been pushed to slap the table (god that hurt) and she got her door removed for 2 days as nothing was getting through im dreading the next couple of years have never hit her yet and recently we have been threatening to smack her arse even then all we got was "go on then" hence the table

I honestly dont think I was ever this bad (mum does say otherwise though )

Can you have a look on amazon books for some books on how to handle teenagers? I've seen some well rated ones but can't remember what they were called sorry.