Pregnant, toddler who never sleeps, going mad...

[MummyLeg]

I don't come on here very often but am slowly starting to lose my reason. I have a gorgeous 19 month old son who is very lively and bright but never switches off and has always been a crap sleeper. We planned another baby when he was a year old and I was thrilled to get pregnant again straight away. I must emphasise that I feel really lucky with what I've got and I've never wanted to moan about sleep as I didn't expect to get much when I had a baby. However, I really hoped he would have settled down by now and I am 34 weeks and have no idea how I am going to cope with two of them like it. I can't get him in any sort of routine. I try and have the same getting up / nap / bedtime but he makes his own rules! We have just moved house which I think probably isn't helping things, and he has had good runs where I've really hoped he was getting better. I've been up for the past 2 hours with him, him screaming as he wants to get up and play but I'm really trying to resist this on the advice of many, many people. Past few nights have been the same and I work too.
Right now, I'm very worried about how I'm going to cope in a month's time (I'm having a section too as problems last time, am also worried about how that will restrict me). I'm also worried about my feelings towards the new baby. Recently I've started to wish we had waited a bit longer and I'm worried I'm just going to resent him. Really hate myself for feeling like this and I feel so guilty as I just can't get excited about having him. I feel a bit down and tearful and I know it's probably just tiredness and pregnancy and new house, but I'm usually very happy and positive and I'm worried things are just going to go downhill when I've had him. My husband, by the way, is amazing and really helpful, but can't really relate to the way I feel currently. Hope I am not going mad and that I can manage with two. Any advice / reassurance much appreciated (not controlled crying though).
Happy Christmas!

Hi MummyLeg,
So sorry you're having such a tough time. Sending you hugs!

I'm currently pregnant with DC3 with my other two tucked up in bed.

It was a whole different scenario when I was pregnant with DS though. There's 22 months between him and DD and she had always been a terrible sleeper.

2 hours straight was about her maximum.
This continued throughout my pregnancy but she finally slept through about 2-3 weeks before DS arrived and (apart from the first week ish where the pair of them spent the nights alternating crying and waking each other up - it was like torture!) she has become the best sleeper.
She could literally sleep through an earthquake now!

The only thing that worked for me was co sleeping and it's only recently she has gone into her own bed but the transition was so easy: put the bed together, got some nice bedding and she will not sleep anywhere else!
With any luck your DC2 will be like mine - slept like a dream from the outset and still loves to sleep. He's moved into his own bed next to his sister's and he loves it too.

I'm sure you won't resent DC2 when they arrive and you'll muddle through whatever happens (first couple of months of DS's life are a blur!)
You're tired, hormonal, anxious about how the dynamic will change etc - it's perfectly normal to feel like this.

Be kind to yourself and good luck x

Poor you! I have heard people have success with the "No Cry Sleep Solution". Or ask your health visitor for referral to a sleep clinic. Good luck!

I think at 19 months you are into a different phase (it's not normal baby behaviour iyswim) so sleep clinic, early intervention psychology service for some problem solving/handholding.

Reading this late at night dealing with own sleepless child so my tired eyes are relieved to read your toddler is not pregnant.

Thanks Pochemuchka, v reassuring and just what I wanted to hear during these crazy hours!! V much hope DS2 will be a better sleeper, it has been a much, much better pregnancy if that's anything to go by (I am optimistically trying to convince myself this is the case).
Have given him some calpol and now fast asleep so maybe teething or something at the mo (I bloody hope so, always nice to have an answer...)
I read no cry sleep solution and thought it was good but we were actually doing most of the stuff it suggested already. I might have another look at it if this current phase doesn't settle.
Everything seems a bit more rational when the house is quiet. I keep forgetting that I will not be working, or pregnant when there are two of them so will hopefully have a bit more energy and resources to cope.