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Parenting

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Original poster

At What Age Would You Let Children Stay With Relatives for Several Days

15 replies

ThePippy · 20/12/2012 15:45

My DD will be starting school next year and will have just turned 4yrs at the time. We have really had things easy with regards childcare as she has been in full time nursery since 6 months, so the fact my husband and I work has been fine. However schools bring a whole new challenge what with so many long school holidays. My MIL would be more than happy to help out but lives about 100 miles away. I'm sure she wouldn't mind coming to stay with us to cover some of the time, at least initially, but I am just curious as to what age you would consider allowing a child to go away to stay at grandparents (or Aunts etc) for say a week at a time when they are not just down the road and therefore couldn't bring them home quickly if they got really upset?

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NatashaBee · 20/12/2012 15:49

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PandaNot · 20/12/2012 15:53

My dc have stayed with their grandparents for up to a week from the age of 6 and 3, now 8 and 5. They were very used to staying overnight which they had done from about 1 year old because of childcare needs and they had regular (few times a week) contact with them too so it wasnt like they were being packed off to strangers. They go every 'long holiday' just because they like it, not because they have to.

Original poster

ThePippy · 20/12/2012 16:10

Thanks both for the reply. She does see her grandparents enough for them not to be strangers and she is generally a happy outgoing and confident little girl (always settles fine in separate room to us whenever we visit family) but we have never actually left her. I like the building up gradually thing.

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PacificDogwood · 20/12/2012 16:13

Depends entirely on the child. And the relatives tbh

My DS1 and DS2 stayed at my parents' (in another country) for a week when they were 2.6 and 1.6 years old respectively. They really loved it and have been doing it since.
I cannot see my younger ones doing that at that age - in fact, they haven't, being 4 and 2 now.

tittytittyhanghang · 20/12/2012 16:15

ds1 went away with exmil for a week when he was about 1.5.

Nobody wants ds2 for that length of time!

PinkFairyTaleOfNewYork · 20/12/2012 16:28

My DS is 7 and has never spent the night away from me but I agree with gradually building it up.

poshme · 20/12/2012 16:33

My DCs stayed with my parents for half a week followed by ILs for half a week from age 1.5 & 2.5. (ie not seeing us for whole week)
Now they're 2,5& 7 and if we go to G'parents (either set) they're quite cross that I'm staying too! They don't stay with them regularly on their own (100 miles away) but we see them often enough that they're happy to stay alone.
The first time they stayed alone DH & I were in Italy so would've been hard to get back!

OneOfMyTurnsComingOn · 20/12/2012 16:38

I had no choice when DC 3 was born. So my DDs aged 8 and almost 2 stayed at my parents' for 5 days. It was the first time DD 2 has been away from me and she was fine.

Struggled a bit the first night to sleep, but loved it.

Snowflakepie · 20/12/2012 17:43

DD stayed at the GPs for 3 days when she was 1.5yrs, no issues. I would happily let her go now she is nearly 3, but she is pretty good at night in general. I would be more concerned that my mum knew what she was in for, lol!

Now all I need is to be able to put her on the train here, with a sign round her neck saying where to put her off, and we're set...

Knittingnovice · 20/12/2012 17:48

DS and DD stayed with my parents for 4 days this Easter, they would have been 3y9m and 2y2m. My parents live 150 miles away.

THey have done it again at October half term. It gives them (DS & DD ) a chance to see their cousins too.

mummymellymoo · 20/12/2012 19:42

Mine have stayed with grandparents from a young age - youngest was about six months when we first left them. They're now 6 and 4 and love going for a few days at a time in the holidays. We used to stay with our grandparents in the holidays and I look back on those times with really fond memories. For your child, and the grandparent, it can be a really special bonding time that is completely different from when you're on the scene. Obviously, as she's never been away I'd do a night at a time or have grandma stay over at yours for a weekend and you go away. If it's anything like our two, she'll get spoilt rotten and not want to come back x

aufaniae · 20/12/2012 19:44

I stayed at my GPs when still in nappies. No idea how long for! I always loved going to stay at theirs.

DS (4) hasn't stayed at his GPs yet as my parents don't feel up to it and MIL is 500 miles away sadly.

PurplePidjChickIsNotTheMessiah · 20/12/2012 19:58

Dn first came to stay for a week at 3.11, just before he started Reception (august birthday), similar distance to you. Dp was very involved in his upbringing until he moved in with me (we still visit as often as we can, monthly at least) and i worked in childcare. Also, his older sister has SN so it's respite for both him and SIL.

It depends how comfortable you are with how your dc will be cared for. DSIL knows we'll make pretty much the same decisions she would, keep her informed, and bring dn back if he weren't happy.

ChoudeBruxelles · 20/12/2012 20:00

It's not so much DS but the GPs. My mum use to happy have DS but she found long periods very tiring.

Tolly81 · 20/12/2012 20:30

Why don't you try a practice weekend? You stay with her at MILs on the Friday night then you and DH book a hotel somewhere nearby on the Saturday. That also means MIL will be able to get up to speed with her routine etc while you're still around. My DD will be stating over with the in-laws for DSis's wedding which will be a few days before she turns one - but they live nearby so it's not as much of an issue. Am hoping it goes well though as wouldn't mind at some point them having her if we went away for a weekend!

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