Is 6 a difficult/selfish age?

[Notcontent]

My 6.5 year old dd is a great child most of the time.
But recently she has been making me sad at times. She can be very thoughtful and lovely, but can also be quite selfish and say hurtful things. Sometimes in anger - eg she will say that I am ugly and mean if she doesn't get her own way. She does apologise. She can also be very demanding and say things that show a lack of empathy for how I may be feeling. But I know she can understand feelings, as she can be very inciteful about characters and situations in books that we read together.

She was a totally lovely 4 year old... Am I expecting too much?? Will it get better?

She sounds a lot like my 4yo. Sorry, I don't know anything about 6yo!

My DD1 is 6, DD2 is 4, I found that starting school changed my girls. They pick up a lot from other children at school, the way they talk to their parents/siblings and other friends etc.

Ive not yet had the behaviour you have described but I have noticed changes in them since being at school. DD1 is in year 1 and DD2 is in reception. If this change in character is recent, could this be linked to something going on elsewhere like school? It may be worth talking to her teachers to see if they have noticed a change.

Sorry I cant be more help, and I hope thinkgs improve for you and your DD soon

They try very hard to fit in and say all the right things at school.

At home they feel safe to let of steam.

It can be very wearing, even if it's proof they feel safe and loved at home.

You have to decide how much you will take and stamp on rudeness that goes to far.

It gets better after 4-5 years.

But you didn't want me to say that.

Thanks for the comments ladies.
You have got me thinking and it may be right that it is linked to school.
DD is extremely well behaved at school, according to her teachers.
But from what she has told me it sounds like the children are not always that nice to each other at play time and that's probably where she has picked it up - and takes it out on me!!!! I know at school there is a lot of "I am telling you off" (language which drives me insane), "I am not your friend", etc.