Can the father of my children stop me moving?

[kipperthedog]

I have 2 dc's 8 & 9 years old. Their Dad & I divorced 4 years ago but he has parental responsibility. We have mutually arranged contact (not thru court) & he has them alternate weekends & one mid week night fortnightly.
I am thinking of moving with them & my partner & dc's back to where my parents live (about 300 miles away). Up til now I've stayed put for his & the kids sake but I really want to be nearer my mum as I'm finding it hard with no support network here. My ex h can be very verbally abusive & I fear his reaction should I tell him what I'm thinking. I'd like to know where I stand in advance. I have moved the dc's schools locally recently & also he lives close enough to their current school that he can walk them to school.
Thoughts & advice welcome please :)

Yes I believe he can. You will need to speak to your solicitor to sort this one out.

Yes he can get a court order although in practise a judge would probably not take this step, but it does sometimes happen and he can take you to court to get this. You will need to get good legal advice.

Can't stop yoo moving. Can stop the kids moving. You'll need to demonstrate how you will enable contatc to continue once you've moved. Will you drive them down each weekend and drive them back again? Will you let him have more holiday contact to make up for the prsumed loss of midweek contact?

Why did you move schools? Why would you want to move schools again - won't this be unsettling? Do you have any MH issues? Kids have SN? (Not very helpful I know - but how much support does one need to look after two kids aged 8 and 9?)

I have just done the same thing, he can take out a court order but in reality if you're moving for a good reason (which as far as I see you are) the courts will take your side and just enforce some kind of contact schedule.

Good luck! Please don't let it put you off, at least seek a socicitor and explore your options. I am SO much happier now I've moved and look back and think how stupid I was to leave it so long!

Hmm thanks all :)

Yes titchy, that's what I feared. We moved schools because we moved within the county for work reasons. It didn't work out so we moved back where we came from & the dc's went back to their original schools after 2 years elsewhere. I know it will be unsettling for them but I figure if we are going to do it, better now that when oldest starts secondary school.. Sorry what is MH? They don't have special needs. I would happily let him have more holiday time & also help with the travelling (although probably not all of it)

Wetthemogwai, thanks & glad it worked out for you :) I will definitely get some legal advice before I start thinking about mentioning it to ex-h.

I want to move from where we are which is quite an isolated area of the country (although beautiful) to somewhere there are less limited work options really. Ideally I would like to move to near my Mum who is 300 miles away to have the extra help but as I don't want to take the dc's too far from their Dad I would consider moving less distance which would mean a much more faesible travelling distance for them & their Dad which would mean they could more or less keep the same arrangement as now. I'm not sure which option would be best in terms of the court allowing it - to my Mum's has more motive but it's a lot further...

how much support does one need to look after two kids aged 8 and 9?

A lot.

Oh I now see what you are getting at titchy. No I don't have mental health issues. I also have a toddler from my current relationship & I have no family around to babysit or help if we get poorly or just to have around & be a positive influence. I am not a weak person or a quitter but I've stuck it out alone for a long time & miss my family.

Linerunner thank you :)

What about your new partners family/network?

Are they not happy to support the 'the whole family'?