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What age would you allow your child to walk around town on their own with a friend.

28 replies

Arisbottle · 15/12/2012 15:50

Small town, one small shopping centre and a main shopping street.

Parents dropping them off and picking them up.

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Mutt · 15/12/2012 15:50

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Arisbottle · 15/12/2012 15:54

That his how old our dd is.

We have older children but they were in secondary school before asking to do anything like this. Our eldest son had friendship issues and so it was never an issue with him. Our elder daughter didn't ask to do this until about 13. I think.

Dd has been bowling this morning, with a friend and her mother. She has just phoned us to say that she is just having a coffee in town with her friend and that she hoped that was OK, the mother was picking them up later

Perhaps because we did not know in advance, I am having kittens .

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usualsuspect3 · 15/12/2012 15:55

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AllDirections · 15/12/2012 15:58

It was around year 6 for my DDs so age 10/11 but I wouldn't have liked another parent decioding if they were mature enough to do this. Until about 12 I would have always checked with the child if they're normally allowed to do it before leaving them in town alone.

Arisbottle · 15/12/2012 15:58

I am happier with the secondary dividing line.

She is still in Year 6 although her birthday is in the first week of September so perhaps if I had pushed quicker I may have allowed her to go Grin

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Mutt · 15/12/2012 15:59

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Arisbottle · 15/12/2012 16:00

It was the fact that the mother didn't think to ask that made me wonder if I was being over protective .

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DoesntTurkeyNSproutSoupDragOn · 15/12/2012 16:00

11 - but I would want to be in our town at the same time at that age. It does depend on what your local town is like really. DS1 went into town completely by himself aged 13.

Arisbottle · 15/12/2012 16:01

She is fine as I have just spoken to her so I suppose I am being daft .

I have checked with my other dd who said age 11 is quite typical,

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Mutt · 15/12/2012 16:02

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Mutt · 15/12/2012 16:05

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VivaLeBeaver · 15/12/2012 16:06

Once they started secondary school.

Arisbottle · 15/12/2012 16:08

DD did say to be that they may go for a coffee after but I assumed that the mother was going as well. Maybe Dd was trying to get it past me in a sneaky way but I think the mother should have checked with me as well.

It is done now though.

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ChasingSquirrels · 15/12/2012 16:14

I would let my 10yo (yr 5) but I can no imagine any circumstance in which he would suggest "having a coffee in town with a friend".

Mutt · 15/12/2012 16:16

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Mutt · 15/12/2012 16:18

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Arisbottle · 15/12/2012 16:20

A lesson I have learned is not to trust my husband .

Both parents were in town with them!

I feel like an idiot .

Thanks for the advice though

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Startail · 15/12/2012 16:27

Y6, but I would ask before assuming a friend was also allowed to.

I guess the DDs were 9 and 12 when I first let them off together while I was in another shop and DD1 probably 10 when I let her off in her own.

DD1 is happier on her own, unless with a very close friend and very sensible.

Anyhow, I know, if she''s late she's in the library, nose in a book.

Mutt · 15/12/2012 16:29

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HSMM · 15/12/2012 16:45

DD started when she started secondary school, but she is a summer baby, so probably only a few weeks younger than yours. She used to go to coffee shops and drink hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows all the time.

I would be slightly put out about having the decision made by someone else's mother, but I'm sure it's all fine.

HSMM · 15/12/2012 16:46

Oh! Went away to hang the washing, realised I hadn't pressed post and missed the OP's last entry

BackforGood · 15/12/2012 17:10
Grin

My dd1, who is 3 yrs older than dd2, has been taking her up to the local high street to buy birthday presents for family, or Christmas present since she was about 8 or 9, so I'd have no problem with her going there with a friend now (she's also an 11 yr old, Yr6), but, as others have said, it depends on what your local High Street / Town Centre is like.
As with all these things, I think it's a gradual thing, too. Mine have gone to "pay the lady" in shops (with me standing close by) since they were tiny, and that gradually changed to me waiting on other side of shop, then outside, then they nip out while I turn the car round, to us both going to the High Street and meeting up after going into different shops etc. It's a gradual process, so no big jump when they want to go without you.

Can't imagine any of mine "going for a coffee" though Shock Grin

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 15/12/2012 17:12

At start of senior school I let mine do this - so aged 11. I however was allowed on the bus into town at aged 9 with my 8 year old brother. We used to go and dare each other to nick a pick'n'mix from Woolies - did we contribute to its demise, I wonder!

seeker · 15/12/2012 17:17

In that sort of town, if they know it well, about year 5ish.

skratta · 15/12/2012 17:27

I'm a bad parent. My two eldest daughters have been going to Westfield since it opened. They were eleven, now twelve. They also go up just generally around London (where we live), and go on a 45min bus journey each to different schools on schooldays, DD1 on the bus, DD2 on the underground.

They're twins though, but they would be allowed around the highstreet, to our nearest shopping centre etc; on their own and would be expected to walk to their friends house if it was bright, not more than 10-15mins away, and wasn't raining. They could go with their (different) friends up to Westfield, or other shopping centres (not to the actual centre of London though) and to general shops. If they want to go out specifically to buy something, I will generally go with them because I like going, but sometimes they want to go with each other, or alone, or they might want to go and get it straight from school so I can't go with them, but mainly because they prefer not being with their boring old mum, and then they'll get whatever they want on their own.