Fear of Fire

[Katherine]

DS (5.5) has suddenly developed a fear of fire at bedtime. It takes him over an hour to get to sleep and he keeps calling us almost in tears saying he's scared there will be a fire. He's worried that all his toys and his bed will burn.

I spent most of Christmas telling my in-laws that eastenders wasn't suitable for small kids but it seems they couldn't wait for the 10pm rerun on sky and one day when I was washing up they had it on. DS saw the bit where the minibus caught fire. Don't know if this is where its come from (he's not worried in the car) but whatever its horrible to see him upset and it means he's over-tired and grumpy in the mornings.

I've tried talking to him, reassured him, shown him the smoke alarm etc but he's still terrified. I even wondered about getting a firefighter costume for a bit of role play/ play therapy but I know I can't fix this just by buying something. Maybe its just a phase but has anyone got any other suggestions on how to help.....?

Katherine, i have pondered on this and don't really know , but i'd do what you're doing and to to him in daytime about it.
Also just a thought, show him that you've turned off power points to the toaster, kettle ect and explain that there can't be a fire there.
Show him a gas ring(if you have gas) then turn it off and explain that a fire couldn't start there. Ask him where he thinks the fire will start and then try to explain why it won't! It's all i can think at the moment but good luck.
If that fails howabout buying a small fire blanket and explaining to him that IF there ever was a fire, this tool could help put it out?

Katherine,
I was exactly the same at this age, but my fear was brought on by my parent's seperation - I was convinced they would forget about me as I didn't live perminantly in one house but swapped between the 2.
They just constantly reassured me and also popped in constantly through the evening to check I was ok - I suppose telling me that they remembered I was there.
How about calling the local fire brigade and seeing if they will show him round the station or taking him to a show where there is a fire engine and they can show him round?

Katherine
Ask at your local fire station for the Community Fire Safety Officer and see if you can arrange a visit to the station. Also if you speak to his school they will send a couple of firefighters along to speak to the whole class about fire safety.

Could you buy a home fire extinguisher and blanket and install another alarm, maybe even in his room? If money isn't a problem, an escape ladder (Great Little Trading Company do them) might reassure him about getting out from upstairs. And you could work out escape routes, too. Hope he's over this phase very soon.

I worry a lot about fire, and sometimes lie awake imagining I can smell smoke. When I was little, our house burned down and I only just got out.

When our kids are frightened of monsters, we can tell them they aren't real, or that teddy will protect them. But your ds is frightened of something real and so he needs reassurance that is real. I would put a smoke detector in his room and then light a candle or match underneath to set it off. Perhaps if he sees how sensitive they are and how loudly they sound, he might be reassured. I also like the fire station idea.

Katherine, I remember being really scared of fire when I was little. I can't remember what fixed it. The fire station visit sounds a really good idea. You could also pretend there was a fire and pretend to escape from the house? Don't know if that would be counterproductive or not - might make it a more real possibility, or might show there is an escape!

It might not be the minibus - there have been several housefires recently in which children have died - he may have seen one on the news. Or even just one of those public service announcements - some of them are pretty scary.

Agree with Janstar about demonstrating how sensitive the smoke detectors are, and what a loud noise they make to wake everybody up, and maybe fit a couple of extra ones to help reassure him. I think it usually is the case in fires like those that there either were no detectors, or the batteries had run out and not been replaced. Tell him too how uncommon it is - if he has seen one on the news he may think it happens all the time.

Thanks all. Idea of trip to firestation sounds exciting. I'll give them a ring and see if they do anything. Also idea of a fire extinguisher in his room is a great idea. We have an alarm on the light so I might let hom have a play with that too. His biggest concern is that all his toys will burn so maybe I need to leave him a big bag, but then thats not really proper protocol is it.

BTW just noticed that this thread starting about 8 times for some reason. Ooops and sorry.