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DD's bossy friend

3 replies

FrootLoops · 10/12/2012 13:58

I want to help my DD (5) to be a little more assertive. She has a friend at school who she considers her best friend. DD mentions almost daily now that her friend is very bossy and DD sometimes thinks that she doesn't want to be friends with her any more. DD does what her friend tells her to do.

As well as small: play this, come here, do it my way type bossiness (which isn't a problem really) she tells my DD not to be friends with certain other people and has physically dragged DD away from a lovely little girl that Friend doesn't like. DD was not happy about this but went with her anyway.

What bothers me most is that DH saw them playing amongst other children recently and DD ran up to Friend to play, Friend tells DD "No, when it's just the two of us we play on our own" (they are usually in a larger close group of friends) and proceeded to play alone leaving DD a bit confused and upset. DD was then expected to drop the other friends when Friend decided she later wanted to play with DD.

She went off to join other friends and had fun but I don't like the pick up and drop attitude combined with the general bossiness.

I have told DD that no one gets to choose her friends for her and that she can play with whoever she likes but I'm just now sure how else to help her. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.

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narmada · 10/12/2012 14:52

Encoyrage her to ditch the friend... DD had one like this and thankfully they have now grown apart!

FrootLoops · 10/12/2012 17:46

Thanks for replying. I thought about discouraging the friendship but my real worry is that DD does what this friend tells her and I think the ability to say no to something she doesn't want to do will be useful in the future. Maybe I'm over thinking things a bit though.

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BendyBobsBrusselsSprouts · 10/12/2012 17:53

My dd had a 'friend' like this. The physically stopping her from socialising with other people rings bells. Dd's aquaintance was much bigger than her and had no trouble pushing her around.

I spoke to the teacher. They gave dd people to go to in the playground if she was having any problems and split them in class.

Luckily for us the girl moved away. I didn't need to discourage the friendship dd had had enough of her own accord. It's totally no on and the school should be aware so they can help.

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