12 week old - sleeping issues (day & night!)

[Littlecherublegs]

We have an adorable 12 week old DS (our first child) and we thought we were doing well in terms of coping with parenthood - he is generally a good eater (EBF), lovely to be around (he is very alert and interactive so playtime is fun!) and we thought we were doing ok with his sleeping - until recently!

Maybe it is a bit of a confidence crisis on my part but we just dont seem to be seeing any improvement in his sleeping patterns.

He has always slept what we thought was reasonably well - he would sleep swaddled in his moses basket at night waking every 2 hours or so to be fed, then would go straight back to sleep; during the day he would again sleep every 2-3 hours or so though this always had to be on me or DH (he wouldnt entertain sleeping in his moses basket during the day though being so young / small we thought this was normal and didnt mind doing it).

However, now he has hit the 12 weeks mark (when apparently things are meant to get easier according to my friends??!!) we were hoping things would improve in terms of him sleeping longer at night and sleeping somewhere other than us (ie. in his cot) during the day. Alas, it isnt looking that way!!

He still wakes every 2 hours or so throughout the night and the only thing that seems to settle him is feeding and/or suckling! Im sure he's not hungry most of the time as it would have been only 2 hours since his last feed plus sometimes he literally 'feeds' for a few minutes then falls asleep again so Im sure he's just using me as a soother to get himself back to sleep. We have tried not letting him 'get to the boob' if it has been less than 2.5 hours since his last feed and tried sshhh / patting instead but this generally results in him crying for up to an hour by which time he probably is hungry again (and we're all exhausted - and yes, I give in!!).

Also, during the day he still wont sleep anywhere other than on me or DH. We have spent all this morning for example trying to settle him in his cot but he just wont and just cries and cries (and he is definitely tired and is not hungry / windy / need changing etc.).

The disturbed sleep throughout the night is making me knackered (and grumpy!) and the not sleeping anywhere other than on me or DH is obviously really restrictive and as he is getting older & bigger, it is harder to do!

Has anyone got any advice please? I know he is still only tiny but some practical advice and comforting words would make me feel less of a failure / less like Im going insane!! Thank you!!

You poor thing. Have you considered a dummy at night? I used to be anti dummy but have found this helpful when i know dd (8 weeks) just wants a comfort suck. She has it for a few minutes then it falls out and she never has it when awake and playing (my hate for them is really when older children have them, or children have them constantly).

As for during the day, try waiting until dc is tired, then lying them on a double bed (no duvet) with you or dh next to and initially cuddling and gradually moving away. This should get dc used to being out onto a cooler flat surface during the day. My dd has only just started to nap in her cot during the day. Now I put her down after she has fallen asleep on me and sometimes she stays down. Often she wakes and then again I use the dummy for a couple of minutes.

Good luck.

I had this too at 10 weeks but my dd is FF.
I second a dummy, and have a look at Ewan the dream sheep. He is a godsend to me EBay is your friend should you wish to purchase one.

Ooooh, we have a dream sheep too. Not sure if it works, but we al like it

We luff Ewan. just don't put him on the windowsill at night he has a red light

He's just a normal baby. Most of them don't sleep through. Most of them like sleeping on their parents. With my first I was like you - wondering what was going wrong, with my second I just accepted it and she's slept on my pretty much since day one. Sometimes she sleeps in the basket if DH swings it around but at night once she's woken the first time, she sleeps on my chest or tucked under my arm (usually latched on). It seems to work ok - I get enough sleep and she's happy.

Hey

Have you tried day time naps in a swing or chair? Ds loves his but wouldn't entertain the Moses basket during the day. We use a different crib at night. Ss sleeps on me at night if he won't sleep in his crib but mostly only when he's poorly. Ds fed two hourly til about three weeks ago and now goes three hours. It will get easier.

He doesn't know he's 12 weeks old
Don't worry, sounds totally normal.
I'd agree with the dummy. If he spits it out and keeps whining he's hungry, otherwise you'll get a bit of sleep.

Welcome to motherhood! It's a myth that babies sleep through at 12 weeks-babies are supposed to want to be close to their mothers/parents and are designed to wake frequently for feeds. Are you able to feed whilst lying down? If so, I would suggest cosleeping as that way you will get way more rest. Also if you can feed lying down then maybe you could feed him to sleep during the day and creep away once he is asleep? Would deffo try a dummy although my last 2 wouldnt even entertain the idea! I know what a pain it can be when you can't put them down during the day but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really last that long.

Another dummy comment, as your dc is ebf, He will spit out a dummy when offered. Hold it in (gently!) for a couple of minutes to try and soothe, but not longer.

Ltitle ch. We have the exact same baby. I'm fact they are twins so I sympathise with you every hour they won't sleep. He is lovely but like you desperate for some extra sleep. Nap time is the same and is hard work. He will go down at lunch time after a few yawns then the battle starts. I have the last few days got a dummy especially at his worst time of 5 morning and evening. It has helped him settle.
Pm me if u like I think we could help each other out. Oh also have a ewan helps him fall asleep I think worth a go.
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Ps you are not a failure and hard not to go a tad potty. X '