Ds (5) being a nightmare:(

[Lavenderhoney]

How do I manage my ds? He is having attitude in spades. I am trying hard to be patient but it s wearing very thin. He is so rude to me.

The latest is shouting and whining endlessky at me he was hungreeeeee after eating a huge breakfast, then a three course lunch of smoked salmon, spaghetti bogolonaise, then fruit, he loves all f ths and helped cook it. . He was playing around at lunch and we said if he carried on messing and not eating, please don't moan for snacks as you wont get them. 20 mins later he started moaning for biscuits and snacks. I said no. Cue endless nagging and whining plus wanting to leave home as I am so mean, he is so hungreeeeee. Crys on the floor etc.

Dh tells him to go to his room - he refuses and won't stop complaining. Dh wanders off as he says he wants to smack him but we don't do smacking..

what do I do? If I give him food I might as well open the kitchen as a buffet surely? He doesn't want left over lunch warmed up, he wants biscuits.

Hi Lavenderhoney

Is it mainly about the food or is it other things too, only you say he is so rude to you also.

We don't hit either, however if DS was told to go to his room he would not do so voluntarily. If we have told him he was going to his room we would have to take him there (pick him up and carry him). We have only done this a handful of times though.

Have you tried sticker charts / a reward system?

Our DS can be whinging too. He gets £2 a week pocket money. He has to earn this by doing his homework, helping tidy up after himself and just generally behave. If he starts whinging or doings something he shouldn't we give him a 10p warning. If it carries on he knows he will lose 10p from his pocket money for that week. Most times it is enough to stop him as he loves his getting his pocket money and uses it to save up to buy himself skylander figures.

Also, I think you and DH need to be on the same page with whatever consequences you decide to use and you must follow through with them.

No that was just the latest example:) he could start an arguement in an empty room at the minute! He doesnt get pocket money but we might start in jan. he isnt interested in sticker charts. He likes to negotiate and rarely loses his temper or raises his voice. Very out of ordinary today he cried but he was very very tired.

I think he might be overtired so I will be bringing bedtime forward 30 mins this week, plus I have been reading a book with some great parenting ideas, which we tried out today - its a change for us, but clearly our way isn't working. I suspect it's hormones too!

We both follow through on time outs, and I am going to look at trigger points to see what sets him off. Or if it's me /dh getting tired and stressed and we are part of the problem with intolerance and expectations. He might need more responsibility. He likes chess so dh is going to play with him more and build an outlet for talking and relationship building.