Help! - Childminding Issue - Child Withheld

[shakeyjakey]

I'm one of mumsnet's fathers. I have a near 10yr old boy (Jan 13) and have been separated/divorced for 8 years, having had my son for approx 140 overnights/annum in that time. I have a great relationship with my son.

Three weeks ago I left my son in the care of my best friends 15yr old son and their daughter of 10yrs while we parents went out for dinner.

As background, the 15yr old has been known to my son since he was born, a cousin really, we see their family often and he also came on holiday with us earlier this year for a week at a holiday park. He has completed his Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Award and regularly gets a train by himself into the nearest major city and then out to his aunties, where he stays overnight in order to attend a club he goes to the following morning, all on his own. the distance between these houses would be in the order of 40 miles. My ex-wife, the mother of my son knows this boy but has rarely (perhaps only once) seen him over the past 8 years. She would have considered herself close with his mother in the past.

Since my childminding actions my ex has been to the police, engaged social services, withheld my son from me (I don't have a court order for custody - yet) and had a lawyer write to me. I have followed up on the police and social services and clearly legally have done nothing wrong. My ex continues to withhold and appears to be seeking some confirmation of irresponsibility from both me and the sitter's mother as well as a promise it won't be repeated and then she 'might' reconsider re-instating my time with my son.

Clearly I'm seeking legal recourse. I'm interested in others comments on my actions as well as the actions of my son's mother. We adults were out from 19:00 to 23:30. The young ones were in bed by 22:00. A next door neighbour was alerted and was available if required but please don't consider this in any answer as my ex-wife hasn't because she hasn't sought any detail.......

At 15 I babysat a 6 year old girl from around 7 in the evening till her Mum got home from her workshift at around midnight. This was usually 2 or 3 nights a week. At the weekends I would also sit for her when Mum went out with her partner so sometimes it would be till around 1/2 in the morning i don't see that you did anything wrong at all.
Good luck.

The Children and Young Persons Act of 1933 is the last time this issue was addressed. It says something along the lines of (I was note taking for child protection for volunteering in school) wilful neglectm unsupervised in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or danger to health.

The NSPCC does give guidelines that say a babysitter should be over the age of 16 but many children younger than this have babies of their own and don't have them taken away from them because they don't tar everyone with the same brush.

There are some 20 year olds that I wouldn't personally leave a child with.

I personally don't feel that you have done anything wrong, it was a one off, the boy you left him with sounds sensible, the neighbour was on standby and your son had a good time. It is cruel to keep your son from you. We all mess up as parents, I am glad that no one judges me that harshly.