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Why am I like this?

3 replies

GettingRich · 30/11/2012 22:05

I am not a 'huggy' person, I don't like being touched in general, however my children are the exception to the 'do not touch' rule! But something very strange is happening and it's the first time I'm writing/telling anyone.

I have Dd1 who is 7. It was just me and her for 4 years. We were very close, went on holiday just us two, stayed up late just us two ect. So I get back with her father and within 2 years I have DD2 and DS. DD1 is great with them, she's always been a great child, easy baby, easy toddler..

But I'm finding it hard to give her affection, I look at her and she is so great, so good, accepting of everything, but I just feel so bad. So so so bad that now I get a measly 45 minutes or so alone time and it could be spent her watching tv with me closing my eyes next to her because I'm too tired.

We don't really hug, sometimes I kiss her on the head goodnight. But it seems awkward? Like she's too old?! What's happening with me? I'm forever kissing and hugging the 2 babies, why can't I just be the same with my 7 year old? I'm thinking it's the guilt that's weighing me down, or I'm just being a shit mum?

I apologise if this doesn't make sense because it is strange and I also haven't slept in a few days! But any advice? I feel like our bond has slipped away.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
GettingRich · 30/11/2012 22:09

I meant to say within one year I had 2 babies! Sleep deprived

OP posts:
Loislane78 · 01/12/2012 07:52

Your DD sounds adorable :). I only have a LO so no great advice but perhaps because you're so tired and pushed for time just start acknowledging little things with a hug; thanks so much for helping mummy with x y z, well done for being such a good girl at school and getting up on time, just anything really. Could she read to you whilst you feed or something like that? I'm guessing getting someone to look after the babies for an hour is hard - what about baby in the buggy, dad gets the toddler for a couple of hours and you take DD to the park or something, just for her?

GL :)

Nagoo · 01/12/2012 08:20

IME it's normal to feel 'hugged out' looking after 1 baby, let alone 2.

You've noticed the gap, so you're half way there :)

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