I am not a 'huggy' person, I don't like being touched in general, however my children are the exception to the 'do not touch' rule! But something very strange is happening and it's the first time I'm writing/telling anyone.
I have Dd1 who is 7. It was just me and her for 4 years. We were very close, went on holiday just us two, stayed up late just us two ect. So I get back with her father and within 2 years I have DD2 and DS. DD1 is great with them, she's always been a great child, easy baby, easy toddler..
But I'm finding it hard to give her affection, I look at her and she is so great, so good, accepting of everything, but I just feel so bad. So so so bad that now I get a measly 45 minutes or so alone time and it could be spent her watching tv with me closing my eyes next to her because I'm too tired.
We don't really hug, sometimes I kiss her on the head goodnight. But it seems awkward? Like she's too old?! What's happening with me? I'm forever kissing and hugging the 2 babies, why can't I just be the same with my 7 year old? I'm thinking it's the guilt that's weighing me down, or I'm just being a shit mum?
I apologise if this doesn't make sense because it is strange and I also haven't slept in a few days! But any advice? I feel like our bond has slipped away.