Hi there - it's my first time posting so have no idea how to abbreviate any of this I'm afraid.
I have a 7 year old daughter (school Year 3). She is an only child and her father and I are happily married.
She has always been a fairly demanding child and a fussy eater and has always been very quick to lose her temper. Recently she has become increasingly anxious about everything - going to Brownies, decided what to wear, going to bed - she finds just about everything a huge dilemma.
Her temper tantrums have always been extreme and she has never responded to time out during them - my husband or I will put her in her room and she will simply follow us downstairs. Such is her stubborness that I once counted over 50 attempts to get her to stay in her room during one outburst.
In recent months her temper has become what I can only describe as utter rage. It is almost always triggered by something she seems to see as unjust - having to come in for tea, not being allowed her ipod at bedtime, not being allowed snacks immediately before meals etc. And she goes from zero to 100mph in the blink of an eye.
During a rage she will lash out, throw books, toys, phones and even furniture around - I'm currently sporting deep gouges to both my forearms where she literally gripped onto my skin while I was attempting to get her to her room for time out.
She screams so hard that I'm certain she will damage her voice and she will stamp so hard she can make the downstairs light fittings shake. And she can keep this up for HOURS!! My husband is convinced a neighbour will call the police as it sounds like someone is being murdered!
My gut instinct and all the advice I have been given is to completely ignore her, but I am finding that almost impossible to do as she has to have an audience. Like I say - put her in her room as she follows you downstairs, turn your back on her and she kicks and punches you, try and reason with her and she starts throwing stuff around, ask if she wants a cuddle to try and calm down and she name calls - all the usual "I hate you" "I wish you weren't my mummy" etc.
At the moment she is having at least 3-4 of these episodes a week. Her punishment is to be grounded but it makes no difference long term - simply doesn't seem enough of a deterrant to stop it from happening even though we remind her when we can see a rage building of what the consequences will be.
All this would be hard enough to deal with if everything else was pretty much "normal" but is fussy at every meal time, anxious about going to bed which leaves us all shattered, crys when I drop her off at school each morning (although teachers assure me she is fine once she's in there), she's uncooperative, she lies about little things - says she has brushed her teeth when she hasn't, has washed her hands when she hasn't...etc.
I feel as though I am losing my mind! And as each day passes I feel as if I am losing the ability to communicate with her.
On a positive note there have never been any issue with her behaviour at school and she is exactly where she should be developmentally and educationally. I do take comfort from this but it doesn't make home life any more bearable!