At what age can kids get themselves ready for bed?

[manhattansunset]

Undressing, cleaning, the whole lot... seems like a long process to learn for our kids...

My kids (5 and 7) are such a hassle to get ready for bed in the evening. I have to sit with them and nag them not to forget to brush teeth, to put dirty laundry in the basket (one can hope!), to then put on pyjamas, etc.

At what age can they remember their routine without me nagging all the way? It is tiring. How do you all do it? I guess just getting them ready myself wouldn't help because he would never learn...?? Please help!

It depends on how thorough a job you want them to do! I probably started trusting my eldest at about 7 to get ready for bed without micro managing.

If you don't let them snack after the evening meal, you could try tooth brushing well before bedtime then it's not all in one go. If they bathe or shower in the evening, fine, if they need a wash with soap and a face flannel they can manage that safely enough. They know by this age they sleep in pyjamas so presumably they know not to cram them on over day clothes? That just leaves dropping any dirty clothes or underwear in a laundry basket positioned where they'll see it. Job done.

If you hover they'll just leave it to you. Some people use a star or sticker chart when the different tasks are done, the younger should pick up what to do from his/her older sibling.

You might even get them to wipe toothbrush spray off the mirror (sigh).

My 5yo has a list (with pictures) of everything that needs to be done between dinner and bedtime. She still needs input but it helps.

I agree about the lists.

Also rather than 'pick up your pants and put them in the basket' you can try getting them to think for themselves by asking questions. Are you ready for bed? Are you sure, because I can see something you've forgotten....

Mine are 7 and 9 and I go on mumsnet while they get ready for bed, I can hear if they are brushing teeth for long enough and if DD goes silent for too long I can bet she'll be half undressed with her nose in a book.

My DP was under the impression that all his got themselves ready - and they all went upstairs by themselves and ended up in bed. It was only when I went up to give a hand one time that his youngest (then 8) told me "no, I don't have to clean my teeth in this house. I only do it in mummy's house" that I realised I'd been wrong to be impressed . The DSC are with us every weekend, so that's quite a lot of time with no teeth brushing. Turns out DSC 2 and 3 (aged around 11 and 12) weren't doing their teeth either.

They certainly can do be independent by 6 or 7, but if you don't police them properly they can easily drift into lazy habits without you realising it.

My DS has only needed reminding what to do since he was around 8, but my DD (9) still likes me to tuck her in and give her a cuddle at bedtime. I'd like to wean her off this, but it doesn't seem to be happening very easily.

I agree that it depends on what standards you are expecting!
You could give them a list of the things they need to have done and make it a game to see how many they can complete independently.

The best way I've found to make it less tiring is to get it all done before they watch their final thing on TV, or whatever they like to do after dinner. If you shout up that their programme's about to start, then they get themselves together much faster than if they know the longer they drag it all out, the later they get to go to bed.

DS has been getting himself ready for bed since he was 5 years old but he does need reminding of the order - Teeth, toilet, PJs + BED!

I do sometimes go upstairs sometimes as he (& his big sister) do have a habit of getting distracted.

Purple I'd like to wean her off this Can I ask why? It sounds lovely to me! In no time at all she'll be a teenager who doesn't want you to tuck her in!

OP - my Dad had those disclosing tablets (to show where you hadn't brushed properly) he'd use them occasionally to check if we were brushing properly and threatened them inbetween - helped us 'remember' to clean our teeth properly As for dirty clothes etc - most people end up with either a carrot or stick approach (or shouting!! LOL), carrots are better than sticks IMO Sticker chart for laundry maybe?

Chipping - yes you're right, I'm sure I'll miss it some day. But she's rather reliant on it. Makes it difficult to leave her with a sitter. DS is nearly 13 so I'm starting to wonder if I could leave them both for an evening, but whilst DS is quite responsible, he's not big on cuddles really. She does kind of use the bedtime routine to get my undivided attention - which I'd much rather give to her at some other time of day - her bedtime is often just after DP gets in from work and we want to eat, so I'd rather have her a bit more self-sufficient - eg just to have a cuddle downstairs and take herself up.

Oh I see, it's a bit more than 'tuck me in & cuddle good night'. It is not good if you can't even leave her with a sitter because of it, that's not good for either of you. Does she have any kind of additional needs? Is she clingly in other ways? If not - tough love I think! Quick check & kiss good night - then Mummy time for dinner &

DP reckoned about 4! DS has just decided he doesn't want me to sit with him as he falls asleep any more (simultaneously and HURRAH!) but I wouldn't give up the other bit just yet, I love bedtime stories etc :)

Nick jnr has a beyond annoying song segment about getting ready for bed (including washed face and toilet face) It's pretty awful but it is useful to reind them of everything they need to do. Dd3 is 5 and gets herself in to pjs, cleans teeth etc then we do a story together.