your response to the daily "I don't want to go to school!" crisis

[bananacarnival]

Please, I'm running out of things to say. I've tried reasoning, explaining why it's important he goes, tried the firmer less sympathetic approach.

He's in year 2, nothing specificly wrong ...some friendship issues but they're not constant. In that he does have some days where he has played well with friends and others where he feels left out.

Teachers (2) say he's fine at school and are mystified when I say he's sobbing every morning. Sometimes it's a crying fit, other days it's throwing himself about in a strop stating how much he hates school. He doesn't know the reason.

What do I say??

Thanks

Oh I really hope we're not still in your position 2 years from now, it's grim isn't it. Obviously we keep gently probing to make sure there isn't a real issue underneath it all. But it seems to be the thought that's worse than the reality for us, likewise no problems in school and staff bemused when there's the screaming hysterics at drop off. I've gone for - "You have to go to school, because Mummy will get into trouble if you don't. You'll be learning lots of important things like how to read and use numbers etc. But I understand that sometimes you feel a bit funny about going and you feel nervous or worried or a bit sad. That's fine and you can tell me how you feel and I'll help you as much as I can."

It has helped a bit because we get a bit more specifics of what the problem is. So I get "I feel sad" or "Sometimes I feel a bit lonely at school" or "I don't like lunch because it's noisy" or whatever and it's easier to actually have a conversation and come up with some strategies or mention to the teacher the specific worry. I just find 'don't want to go' completely intractable.

Good luck.

Thank you, sounds like you're getting a bit more cooperation than I am!

Can he come home for lunches? Or would he like to change school? Is that possible? Or home ed for a while? Has he always been like this or is it recent? Is it the new teacher? Does he get to bring a friend home to play so he can build friendships? If he's not generally over-dramatic, I'd be looking at other schools if he was my child. I guess that's not what you want to hear :(

I use the line

well I don't want to go to work either but sometimes life's a bitch

well not really but one day...

anywho -when mine were a bit smaller and I had the issue I would ask them what's the worst thing about school, so we could address the problem

mine went to an infants/juniors so year 2 were the oldest in the infants, used a different cloakroom and were expected to be much more independant

turned out dd didn't like the cloakroom as it was very small, her peg was right in the corner and she constantly felt like she was being pushed about

as it was the first thing she did everyday it was what she got wound up with in the mornings

once you know the actual problem you can address it, may take a bit of probing though

Was he like this in Reception and Year 1 or is it just since moving up to Year 2?