How can I stop myself thinking I am a better parent than DH?

[madmarchhare]

Well I dont as such but I do find it difficult sometimes when DH is with DS and I see him do something I wouldnt. We had a chat about this the other day so DH knows all about how I feel and very graciously (even though I know it pisses him off sometimes) put it down to the fact that I am with DS all day etc etc...

Point is, I know and understand that I feel like this sometimes but dont know what to do about it.

Oh, and I think some of it is to do with those pesky risk assessments.

I think I am easily the best parent but dd's favourite is her dad. that tells me!

You have to let them do it, even if you can see it'll end in tears. You have learnt the hard way and now you're competent, but they learn much slower than us (smaller brains) so you just have to take a step back and let them get on with it. If you interfere too much, it'll put them off and they won't want to do anything.

Yu probably are! Just don't tell him .

Back off, leave them together and go out. Accept that your way is not the only way. The things to agree on are food, bedtimes and discipline, lret him do the rest his way.

If you're too much of a control freak you'll end up with a DH who won't do anything for your ds at all.

lol @ control freak, Im not at all, honest.

Well I think dh is a much better parent than me and I spend more time with ds as I work PT but DH works FT.

I think I know ds a bit better than dh (though not much) and I am definitely more obsessed with safety but that certainly does not make me a better parent. I suppose it depends on what you definition of good parenting is.

What amazes me is how much more patient, loving, and less selfish dh is with ds than I am. I love ds dearly but I am very easily irritated - it is just a personality thing. Dh is much easier going at least on the surface.

However I can tell you who ds thinks is the best fun and laughs with most and it isn't dh. So we all have our strengths somewhere, we just have to see them and celebrate them.

Is there stuff your dh is better at with ds than you Try and see that and focus on that. That way the negative feelings about his parenting may fade a bit

You will probably also find that the more space you give dh to get it right now the more it will pay off in the future as your dh and ds will have a good relationship when your ds is older.

I don't think I'm better (thats cos he is), but I do think we are 'different' and surely that is what it is about. NO two people are the same, so no two parents are the same. May be the one who spends more time with the child is 'better' at knowing what the child wants/needs, but thats just familiarity...

Ah yes, thats definately it, I know DS better and tbh its just easier to do it myself sometimes because at the end of a long day I cant be arsed to 'do the right thing'. I just want to get DS, fed, bathed and in bed as 'efficiently' as possible in an attempt to save my sanity.

How about thinking about both of you being "different" in your parenting skills. Deffo agree with all those who say you must let your dh do it. If you niggle at him too much, he might think he is cr*p and leave it all to you. I'd go & paint my toenails or something & let him get on with it. Make the most of the fact you have a lovely DH who's happy to give it a go.

Agree about training yourself to see it as 'difference'. I have been known to raise an eyebrow when dh has done something that is frankly daft, or not done something that I would usually have foreseen needing doing, etc.
But then, we're different people, our children have to learn to deal with our differences I suppose.
I think men bring different strengths to a relationship with children, and maybe one of them is being able to let go a bit.

DH is definately the one that lets go and thinks sod it if things get messy or dont go quite according to plan. Again, Im aware that its no big deal, but inside Im screaming 'Noooooooooo'.

It must be time for a little break with the girls .