11 week old has to be rocked to sleep...

[Wertrude]

My ds is generally a good baby (bar the colic, reflux and recent teething

The problem is that I think I am getting into really bad habits regarding sleep. He hasn't really got a regular sleeping pattern in the day - it seems very random and I'm not sure if I should be starting to impose a routine to regulate the naps or if it happens naturally?

Also, he screams when he wants to sleep and seems to fight it. It takes me ages to get him to settle. I've tried putting him down when he is still awake but sleepy, but he just starts screaming again and won't settle until I pick him up.

The only way he sleeps in the day is if he is literally rocked to sleep! Also, he won't sleep in Moses basket in the day (but will at night). Even if I put him in there fast asleep, he will wake 5 minutes later crying and won't be comforted unless picked up again.

He sleeps on me in the day (but obviously this is really not convenient!!) or on a cushion on the sofa, especially on his stomach. I know this is controversial as guidelines discourage this due to cot death risks, but I am with him the whole time and check on him. It's out of desperation really!!! I would rather he sleeps on his back in the basket like he does at night.

One more thing (sorry) - He is now sleeping through most nights, but does wake crying at about 5ish, but not for milk, as when I pick him up he falls asleep in my arms. Rather than put him back down, I have got into the habit of taking him into bed with me when this happens. It is out of fear of what happens in the day!!! Every night I vow that I will put him back in his basket when he wakes, but every night I chicken out!!!

Any advice on routines/sleep/napping would be great!

Don't worry! Babies this small CAN'T form habits (because their brains don't form memories of this sort when they're this small) so don't worry about setting yourself up for a fall.

Firstly, have you tried a sling? They're much more convenient for letting a baby nap on you during the day, and to be honest this is much your best bet rather than worry about Moses baskets etc. It's perfectly normal and very much ok for a baby to be rocked to sleep when he's this little.

Secondly, if he's sleeping that much at night you're VERY lucky indeed. It's not a bad habit to take him in bed with you - just feed him there and you can both get some more kip. It sounds as though he needs a cuddle, and that's fine.

It sounds to me like you have a very well behaved baby to be honest! They are too small to form bad habits at this stage and I'm sure you will find in the weeks and months to come that he prefers to be put down to sleep and have his own space. I know my DS did. After always needing to fall asleep on me then be put into his cot at night or sleep on me during his daytime naps, he now likes his own space more do he can stretch out his arms. He does still fight his daytime naps sometimes but he always gets to sleep in the end. I really wouldn't worry about routine yet either. He will gradually fall into his own pattern and you'll start to notice he gets tired at similar times. I know it seems bonkers at the moment and there is such a fear or setting a bad precedent with them but it sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing and have a very happy baby. I wish my DS slept through and he's 20 weeks!

gosh he is only little! rock him and cuddle him to sleep - you aren't creating bad habits, you are meeting your baby's needs.

He is sleeping through - that is amazing, don't mess with what is working!

I promise, when he is older and you want to teach him to settle by himself, it will be Much, much easier than if you attempt it now - he will be developmentally ready to do it, he can see further, can play with things in his cot etc so will not feel upset being put down awake - you aren't setting a pattern for life now!

By 6 months you can start teaching them to go in the cot awake and fall asleep - honestly, if he sleeps well it doesn't matter how he falls asleep.

and enjoy the co sleeping while you can - he will outgrow it - as long as you both sleep well, dont worry

I just moved my co sleeping baby into his own cot at 7 months and it was fine.

Wow, what a relief! Thanks for the reassurance! I feel a bit silly now I've been following my instincts and just going with what baby wants, but then I hear MIL's voice in my head saying 'You're brewing up trouble for yourself later' and 'I used to do this and that..' BLAH BLAH BLAH! Why does she get inside my head??? (Sorry - separate issue!)

Anyway, thanks again I can relax a bit more now

ZuleikaD I was bought a Babasling, but I can't seem to get on with it. It either feels like ds going to fall out the side, or he feels completely squashed!

What sling to you have? Does anyone else have a Babasling and has successfully used it without hurting lo?

Lucylucy57 and waterrat I know I am really lucky to have ds sleeping though already! It might be due to the fact that he is now on formula

QTPie Yes, ds sleeps soundly in the buggy and car, and he also feeds to sleep too. I will give the buggy a go - it may save my back! Rocking is quite a workout, isn't it??

He sounds amazing for a tiny baby! I always loved taking DS into my bed at 5ish and snuggling for a couple of hours - don't wish it away too soon :)

I had a babasling and didn't get on with it at all. Switched to a Close carrier which was brilliant - lots of people like stretchy wraps for little babies, the close is similar but without having to tie it. The Babasling is basically a ring sling expect not adjustable like a ring sling is - so I would either get a ring sling, or switch to a close/stretchy wrap.

Alternatively, if you get a buckled carrier (like connecta, manduca, ergo, beco) it will last til your baby is a toddler.

Agree that babasling is crap. I have a bondolino which I bought when my baby was about 12 weeks and it has been fantastic. the above suggestions are also very good ones, especially the manduca. don't worry about routines or habits, just do what works. They change so quickly at this young age that there is little point in trying to impose a routine on them that they aren't ready for.

Oh fab, your baby sometimes sleeps instead of screaming himself sensless. Celebrate it, you won't be rocking him to sleep when he's 16 (or even 6 months, sob)

Mine is on formula too, he just isn't as well behaved as yours! Usually only one wake up most nights for some milk and straight back down so I can't complain really.

You are right mrshoarder, it will all be over before you know it and your dd will be slamming door and telling you how unfair you are. My dd is 8 months and I still cuddle her to sleep with occasional rocking just because I love it. I expect the poor thing would settle perfectly well on her own if I let her but she is just so cute and snuggly I can't resist.

Thanks for the sling recommendations. My suspicions were correct about the babsling - crap! And I will now relax and enjoy this time with ds, rocking and all

Please do enjoy it as much as you can....I know it can be so hard when it is like this but you are following your instincts and what you do now with an 11 wk old will NOT be 'rod making'

You will have heard this soooo many times but as much as this feels never ending, it truly is the blink of an eye. Before you know it your fabulous, gorgeous 6 yo will be climbing into your bed one might and you will love it as it will remind you of all the cuddles you used to dictate

Get sone other slings to try...they really can be brilliant. I think some places have obes you can borrow to try them out to see which ones suit you and your baby best?

In the meantime...cuddle away without guilt

Thank you valpollicella