Dh shouted at dd1 and is now feeling like the world's worst dad, help please

[oliveoil]

We have been a see of illness and crap for eons and patience has been pushed to the limit.

dd2 is AGAIN ill with a chest infection so I have been leaving her on the sofa of an evening so I can keep an eye on her breathing (don't even mention the HUGE rod I am carving for my back on this one).

So dd1 has seen this and is now also playing up and wants to come down with dubious tummy aches etc. And has also been coughing and then being sick, not sure if the sick is forced, seems it.

Anyway, last night dh lost it and was really cross with her and then was slamming doors etc and he was mortified after, really upset.

Still down today saying he is a crap dad which he is NOT.

Have told him we all have off moments and she will not hate him, and she doesn't was all kisses this morning.

Wise words please to help him feel better.

Thanks!

x

Been there done that!
I lose it more often than I should with mine and I have screamed at them for at least 10 minutes. Afterwards I've felt shit and apologised. Think they need to see your human side every now and then as so long as you apologise, there is no harm done!

aah

what a sweet thread

I absolutely lost it with my kids this weekend 'oh just eat crap all day see if I care' sort of childish shouting and ranting

It can be scary if you really lose it with them and don't very often. Just remember that the fact that you feel bad about it means that you are NOT a crap dad.

P.S. Totally sympathise, dd started being ill 2.5 weeks ago and I was up and down with her, then dh got ill, so I was up all night listening to his coughs, changing sheets again, etc, now ds is ill and I'm up all night with him, dh is downstairs whilst I look after him at night. I'm now stuck in today, I've sheets to be washed that have poo and sick on them but I can't get out to the launderettes or to the supermarket for food shopping as ds is really quite poorly. I'm tired, I'm fed up and I have both dd and ds today and tomorrow on my own!

So HUGE sympathies!

we have had a crap weekend

both ill, no sleep yadda yadda

So MIL phones on Sunday to see how we are, and when anyone gives me sympathy I cry. So I am saying "it's fine" in a high pitched squeak whilst dd2 screeches at my feet and dd1 is bellowing for breakfast. So MIL is all nice and lovely as she always is, I am crying saying I want to run away, and dd1 breaks off from bellowing to say "please don't go mummy", which sets me off again.

Rhubarb - agree on them seeing all emotions, otherwise they would be in for a shock imo if they thought life was fab all the time. That's my line and I am sticking to it.

come on, anymore shouting harridans out there to make us feel better?

I think if you don't lose it often it seems worse for you and the kids to be honest. My Dp is like this and it scares me actually when he gets cross because usually he's so calm. But it means that in fact he's a great dad and usually has has endless patience.

If your dp wants to make amends maybe he can sit down with your dd and say 'I was cross last night because I was tired and it made me really sad I am sorry I shouted and slammed doors etc'.

Really hope you get some sleep and are in better health soon!