Would you let your 11 year old boy dress in clothes you personally dislike?

[tigermoth]

My son turns 12 in a few weeks time. He has been pestering dh and I for some new clothes as his present. Yesterday as requested, I took him to the local market so he could buy a pale blue tacksuit and a Loony Tunes T shirt.

The tacksuit is huge and he wears the trousers hung low well under his waist so they are very baggy. He is pleased as punch. I think he looks ridiculous. He also likes wearing a baseball hat placed very precariously on one side of his head and a large fake gold watch (till it broke). He says it is the latest look amongst his friends.

It is not to my taste at all but as there is nothing unsuitable or offensive about the clothing, and it is his birthday present, I have let him have his way. His other clothes tend to be sporty labels - baggy t shirts and tracksuit bottoms. That's his style (don't like it much but hey ho that's me).

On a purely vain and selfish point of view, I would much rather he adopted a slightly grungy, indie, skateboarder look but he thinks this look is really naff.

Should I keep on letting him have final say when we go clothes shopping and was I right to let him choose this tracksuit as his birthday present?

I just suspected this was you and Young Dandini TM...
I would be blushing with shame at escorting him around dressed like this too, tbh (remind me to cross road if I spot you over the Easter Vac )
but I think it says a lot for you as a mum and a human being that you let him wear what he wants even thougn it is ghastly :)
I think I will adopt the www way now and 1) only proffer the John Lewis range and a Boden catalogue to ds for limited choosing and 2) say if he wants anything else he can save up for it from his pocket money
LOL at some of the posts on this thread, especially SD's son's emo cut (SD, has he seen River's Edge and that annoying Crispin Glover do you reckon?) and la Scummy and the Devout Twins. Now you see missus, if you just sent them to Sunday School, the rest of the week they would be nonchalant apparent atheists like ds, the least prayerful child I know
I too hope and pray for the Goth/grunge path instead of the prevailing street fashion round here...

Actually TM, it shows how times change. All the boys at youth theatre in my day were rampant (sometimes queeny) individualists, very obvious in the High Street for their use of New Romantic fashion including mascara. Anyone turning up in orthodox SE London Street fashion of the day (punk excepted) would have been pelted with rolled up copies of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf

A tough one, I'd like to say I'm all for free choice and independent. thaknfully ds 12 is keen on combats and any top. We tend to steer him around H+M - he only really has an opinion about colour - which was ok until he decided orange was cool...
I think if I am paying for it it's my basic choice, but if it's his money or gift then its free rein
then stop offering clothes as a gift

the idea that not buying children (teenagers) clothes that you don't like solves the problem is laughable... I refuse to buy dd clothes that are too provocative but she buys her own clothes with money she earns or is given (not by me) or she borrow's her friends clothes. Yes, one can have rules (I certainly have with dd) but I remember having sensible school shoes that I'd wear out of the door and change out of half way down the lane in favour of my friends very unsuitable shoes (a size too small) that I'd then wear all day at school).

look on the bright side - at least you haven't got girls! We have the 'touch your toes' rule with dd1 (10). If she touches her toes & I can see her knickers the skirt is too short & banned. Luckily she tends to prefer jeans & t-shirts now. dd2 likes to look 'nice' so no short skirts but very stylish - puts me to shame.
BTW explained exactly what a tart was to dd1 recently (sleeps with men for money) so now she has no desire to look like one - long may it last.

Oh I do sympathise, tigermoth, although by this stage I'm almost past caring!

Mine alternates between the jumble-sale look (he is very attached to some of his older clothes which are too short, usually crumpled, and worn with bare ankles, trainer socks and well-scuffed trainers, a fine look to be seen with) and the cool smoothie (designer shirts/T-shirts, and designer jeans, and even designer shoes FFS!) He won't consider skater or goth or (phew) chav and he loves pink, isn't it weird, who said "pink is in this year"? I remember the last time pink was in, about 20 years ago, you would see fat middle-aged men in ghastly pink acrylic sweaters .

I can't buy clothes unless he's there now. ebay is useful, as we can shop in odd moments instead of undertaking an expedition, but his favourite shop is still Sports Soccer (for football boots etc, rather than style, although his last purchase was a Japan football shirt because he likes the design )

sorry Winnie - x-posts, dreading the day when I can't have final say

Oh dear, sweetie, huge commiserations. I am completely with you on the indie/grunge look which is, fortunately, de rigeur at DD1's school .

I hvae 3 tenage girls and they have all chosen their own clothes since about he age of 11 or 12.
I advise but have learnt to let them make thier own decisions even if I don't like thier choice. My 18 and 16 year old now have very good taste and know what suits them. The 14 year old still neesds advice. So yes if the clothes aren't ofensive and you can aford them let him hae them.