DC's sick - time off work?

[KnockMeDown]

Hi there - just wanted to ask what others generally do, when you both work, and a DC takes sick, and also how you feel about it.

I work part-time - 4 days a week, and DD, 2.5, goes to nursery. Last night, she was sick all night - we both had practically no sleep. She was last sick at 5am. So obviously not well enough to go to nursery. And they have a 48 hr rule, too, so regardless of how quickly she picks up today, I can't take her back tomorrow. We don't have any family close by to help out, and DH is away on business, so had to ring work to say I wouldn't be in, today or tomorrow. I will have to either take it as holiday (though have already booked all my allowance), or as sick leave. We are a small office, so my not being in will have an impact. My boss is understanding in that she says all the right things, but she is not married nor has any DC herself, so I don't think she really understands, IYKWIM.

So as soon as I ring, I feel really guilty for letting them down, even though I know that I am doing the right thing by DD. I guess I would feel just as guilty if I had sent her to nursery anyway (but I wouldn't have as too poorly), but my work would not have been up to scratch today anyway, as have had next to no sleep last night.

I don't really know what I am asking, really - I guess it is one of those parent-guilt things where there is no right way, just the least wrong, but am interested in the collective MN take on it.

DH and I argue about who needs to be in work the most. I can't take holiday as I'm a teacher, and so fat I have always been paid, but I've only taken 3 days off for a sick child in 4 years. I feel very bad, as if I'm not there my classes are covered not taught. In your situation, I would take the first day off and my mum, who lives 2 hours drive away, would come for the second day if she could possibly manage it.

So far. Although I am a little on the large side too!!

I feel guilty when I have to phone in. My boss has no children and doesn't make the right noises.

I had a spate of being off every other week ( until DS2 got diagnosed as being dairy intolerant). I used up annual leave and made the hours up. I also spoke to my boss and told them I felt very guilty. Their response was it was a pain but things happen and they knew I wasn't skiving and I was a hard worker.

So push the guilt aside. It happens. It's not forever. And everyone has time off work for a variety of reasons.

Hope she gets better soon.

We are lucky in that it doesn't happen often. My mum if available. Then DH cos he can use annual leave. Then me if all else fails.

In theory, DH and I should split the unexpected days off between us fairly - anything else is unfair on our employers. In practise, I've always been able to ask my mum or change a planned annual leave day.

You shouldn't take it as sick leave though, as you're not sick. If your employer finds out you've called in sick when you weren't sick, you could lose your job. The time should either come from your annual leave entitlement, be time that's worked later (if acceptable to employer) or taken as unpaid leave. There is such a thing as Dependants Leave, which is unpaid and meant for domestic emergencies (my employer tolerates up to 5 days unpaid dependants leave per year).

Thanks for all your comments.

Happy - the suggestion to take it as my sick leave came from my boss when I rang to explain the situation this morning. I'm hoping that I don't catch what DD has, making it genuine sick leave!! I would be happy to take it as unpaid - out of interest, what would your employer do if you needed to go above 5 days?

It is a shame that neither my nor DH's parents are in a position to help out. PIL are getting on in age, and are 2hrs drive away, but don't drive anymore. They have however always been very helpful with DS, 13, who is with them for part of this week. My parents are equally far away, and don't drive either. My Mum would propable love to take the train down, but cares for my much older Dad, who has Alzheimers.

DD has, of course, really perked up now, and kept her toast down, but is still complaining of a sore tummy. I'm sure the lack of sleep will really catch up with her later, though, as I am sure it will with me...........

It theory dp and I take turns. But in practice if dd's a little bit ill dmil normally can have her, and when she's been really ill or in hospital then she wants me so I take the time off.

Has anyone mentioned unpaid leave? Ideally I would ask for that. I assume that in many jobs it would be a trigger to getting fired, though.

I'm a teacher, so I don't get holidays. If my children are off sick, I have to take it unpaid. If my husband can get time off work, he does or if my DDs can go to my parents, then we try to do that too. However, our latest solution is that where I mostly work mornings, I worn until lunch - take one hour unpaid, and then get home for lunch, when my DH goes into work for 6 hours.

Even if your DD feels well she is still contagious. I hope you will keep her off for the required time and therefore help stop others being in your predicament.