Have you lost your identity?

[IdentityLess]

Since I had my first child, DD, 18 months, I have no idea who I am anymore. Is this common? Admittedly, I ´ve given up work, moved house, am relatively socially isolated etc. but it seems more than that. Making the transition between being an independent woman and being a mother just seems like too big a step and I still don´t sit comfortably in my new role. Is this normal?

I agree with Foxinsocks about work defining a big chunk of your identity. I have just started a part time job and it's made a big difference.

I think one of the probelms I was having was envisaging my future. I was enjoying being at home full time (DS is 2) but something inside was niggling about what I would be doing in 2-3 years time when he starts school.

I also moved to a new area and found the social isolation, without the "anchor" of work, very hard.

I started claiming my identity back about 3 years ago, and dd1 will be 14 in a couple of weeks.

I like being me again but i'm not sure anyone else in the family agrees.

Donbean - in evolutionary theory they call that 'ring species' - where imperceptible changes occur in a species over geological time to a point where one species evolves into another. It's a good metaphor for imperceptible personality changes over the course of a lifetime, as you say.

monkey you clever bird

allie bongo btw

LOL!

I'm such an evolutionary nerd!! (That's my new identity BTW)

this may sound strange but do you do anything for YOU?

I felt exacltly like you & realised (once H had left me) that when I had children, combined with his job, I gave up lots of things for ME.

I have been involved in Amateur dramatics since I was 5, and yet once I had my son, I stopped.
Same with exercise - could no longer get to classes.

Now I am a single parent, I still cant go to gym etc or Am Drams without getting babysitters.

But I have discovered card making - may sound lame BUT its artistic (like drama) and stops me vegging in front of TV

I now feel I am "MistressMiggins the Mum" and when kids in bed "MistressMiggins the mad crafter"

its certainly a step towards claiming my identity back