Illness and TV watching - looking for some reassurance really

[GeorginaA]

I know this is daft, but I'm feeling run down, ill and just want a chorus of people telling me I'm not scarring my child for life.

I've spent most of this month unwell - severe cold that turned into sinusitis at the beginning of the month. Now severe cold combined with fevers, chills, aches and bad asthma. Sleep has been affected and I'm exhausted and not being a good interractive mummy. At this precise moment I'm flaked out on the sofa surfing mindlessly trying to distract myself while ds2 (22months) is plonked in front of Cbeebies AGAIN.

It feels like he's overdosed on Cbeebies this month. He's not particularly complaining (obviously) but someone telling me I'm not damaging him by all this TV watching - we normally have it on a couple of times a day to make meal prep easier, but recently it's just been on all the time. Last couple of days I haven't even been able to get out to do our normal stuff like town trips or tumbletots, so the tv is pretty much his only activity.

Feeling like a shit mother at the moment, tbh, but on the flip side don't have any energy to do anything about it either.

Someone just tell me that a month's worth of solid Cbeebies isn't going to stunt his mental growth forever...

of course you are not a bad mother - on the contrary, you are an excellent mother. Now go and rest and let the kids watch tv in peace!

I'm sur he's fine - it's not as if he's watching sex and violence is it? (unless cbeebies have changed their programmes since i last watched - ds only 7months!) you only need to worry when he starts talking like a tellytubby

wish you better soon.xx

Georgina - you are poorly - there's nothing you can do about that so no point in getting stressed about it. Could DH do some trips out with him at the weekend to counterbalance?

OTOH how do you get him to watch it? If I was doing what you are doing DD would be climbing all over me trying to pinch the mouse and paying no attention at all to cbeebies.

you're not being a bad mum at all, we all do this. At 22 months it's a bit hard to think of anything else he can do that doesn't involve you work (at dd's 4 I can also plunk her in front of computer, or at soft play area, or in a pinch with a magazine and a pair of scissors - no help I know but at least means you won't have the same worries in a couple of years)

no guilt necessary! I can't think of anything else that has so much thought about education and entertainment put into it than CBeebies. It really won't do any harm over a short period like this. Better to have the opportunity for you to rest and get better - and stop worrying and stressing!

Perhaps he will become a Cbeebies tv -presenter when he grows up?

I think most mums would do the same if we were in your shoes and no harm will be done!

Forget the guilt and concentrate on getting better. I wonder how any parent survived before Cbeebies....

Thanks.

I feel so horribly guilty at the moment - ds2 is just at such a fantastic stage at the moment, becoming so much more vocal and interractive and I can't shake the feeling I'm letting him down. Daft I know.

Bozza: don't know I think he's just loving the fact he can watch telly without his brother annoying him at the same time I'll probably pay for it later with screaming tantrums when the tv goes off once I'm better.

Philippat: good point. When ds1 gets home from school in the afternoon they do entertain each other (with the tv on in the background as well, argh!) so he is getting some daily people interraction - just not with me!

But Georgina hopefully the weather will improve to coincide with you getting better and you will be able to get outside with DS2.

DD is just one of those children who is not interested in television so far. Your mention of putting it on for meal prep just would not work with her. DS OTOH gets cross if he can't watch a full length film (eg Star Wars) before bedtime.

oh dear don't beat yourself up about this, he'll be fine. Hope you feel better soon.

Georgina- I think Mums suffer such a guilt thing.

Do not feel guilty,Get Well Soon then you can have great fun with ds,hopefully by then Spring will have arrived!

Georgina am doing exactly the same thing here. I am feeling really chesty and asthma playing up. Ds and DD both got colds so I have put on toy story for DS.Dont feel guilty at all as most of this month tv has been on a lot of the time for us too as we just seem to be getting one bug after another.

((((GeorginaA))))
Thank god for CBeebies, saviour of mothers everywhere, especially poorly ones.
It won't do him any harm, and although you may be right about tantrums later, you can wean him off it slowly, especially if the weather's better and you can distract him by taking him out.
Wish I lived a bit closer, he could come round and play with dd for a day and let you recover in peace .

Just wanted to send hugs your way.

I was only thinking recently (when I was ill with a nasty cold), how could I have found the energy to dealt with a child at the same time.

Yet you have done just that, for weeks from the sound of it and lovingly cared for not one but TWO children. You have paid your dues and deserve good health for the rest of the year, fingers crossed.

Thanks for the vote of confidence! Not sure about the "lovingly cared" for bit though... more like "stroppily cared". Ended up in a battle of wills this afternoon with my 5 year old - if I'd allowed myself to step back a bit from the situation I should have realised that we're both just feeling ill and grumpy rather than acting like a screaming harridan. Then ds2 was on a one man mission to destroy all the DVDs.

Starting to pay for my lack of attention, methinks...

GeorginaA - my two are watching Wallace and Gromit twice a day (2 x 30 mins). DS WILL NOT have a nap any more and so it vaguely counts (I hope) as "quiet time. Don't worry. DD knows all about poo dispersal, crocodiles laying eggs, and the various methods of painting thanks to CBeebies. (and they can both do a charming rendition of the Doodle Doo song!)

PS. Schlep your disease-raddled body over to the May Toddlers thread and give us an update sometime!

Heh. Update: I'm diseased. Kids diseased. All our brains bleeding out of ears at watching LazyTown. That do?

HEY gEORGINA,DON'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF.
wEATHER IS FOUL,YOU'REFEELING ROUGH,WHAT'S THE ISSUE.
cbEEBIES IS FINE.

iF IT MAKES YOU FEL ANY BETTER,i AM A LENTIL WEAVER TYPe (oops) who is always ery snooty about tv,but my kids have been dripfed videos for the last three days for much the same reason.
Plus dh is away and I have completely run out of steam.
Sod it!
(Mine are the same age as yours too)

How are you feeling today GA?
Hopefully I've caught you lurking

Worse if anything .... feel breathless and dizzy if I stand up. Have actually dozed off on the sofa this morning (Thomas the Tank Engine DVD the brain washing technique of the day)

Unfortunately, ds2 is now getting wise to all this and has decided that jumping on me lots or pulling stuff out he shouldn't and attempting to destroy it is the way to get my attention today.

Bored of being ill now.

I've taught media studies at undergraduate and postgraduate level. The (what we call) 'simplified media effects' model is very much dismissed by many academics. It just isn't true that people's development is stunted by TV. Sure, if they do nothing else for 18 years or so, that would be a shame. People engage with TV in all sorts of different ways. While we were in Australia, my dd (aged 2.5) watched alot and it helped her engage in Australian culture, ways of talking and behaving that would have taken forever to learn if she'd had to wait until she made enough friends to do it. Here in Britain, my 10 mth old daughter loves the teletubbies - sure, she gets plenty of other stimulation (trips and activities) but she likes the music, lights, waving (which she does in return), and dancing that they perform. She's not just passively sitting there watching it - but actively interacting. As humans, we learn by all sorts of methods and environments - don't be hard on yourself. It's fine.

That's interesting, hex. So where does the "no more than 2 hours a day and not before 2 years old" thing come from? Is it more a case that beyond that point it's to the exclusion of other activities rather than the tv that is being bad per se? (And I always wondered how you were supposed to avoid the second child watching tv until they were 2 years old ... yeah right )

There's alot of tosh written about TV viewing, especially by other sorts of journalists, like print media ones - who set themselves up as representing 'truth' (whatever that is) as opposed to 'opinion' (which is what it is). This is just part of it...I mean I pick up, read and to some extent enjoy Hello, etc mags when I'm at the dentist waiting to be seen...but I don't believe all that's written in there. It's fun and light and serves some kind of function while I'm there (perhaps taking my mind off the treatment to come)..but that's all. I'm not 'controlled' by what I view on TV, any more than I am by what I read at the dentist. Most kids know stories are stories, on TV or in print or wherever. They develop a recognition of the forms and patterns of various sorts of storytelling (whether cartoons, through songs on TV, etc, etc) - and I think it's a good cultural competence to have. I know my daughters both 'switch' off themselves when they have had enough TV or when it becomes less interesting for them. I doubt any of us would sit our kids in front of a TV for 6 hours solid anyway. I think TV's got alot to offer.

ha ha ha i am not ill and still have the tv on all day! my Sister in law swears by it and my sister with their babies! its not like my sone sits there mesmorised he plays with his toys and then watches the tv when music comes on! dont feel guilty just enjoy the peace :)