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Parenting

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Original poster

What would your 5 year old do with £10?

21 replies

AuntieBulgaria · 23/10/2012 19:30

Dd (5) got a letter from her Grandma today, she opened it and there was £10 inside. Grandma had sent it as half-term holiday spending money, which starts next week.

Dd wanted to spend it straight away, as in leave the house right now that minute, direct to a shop. I said it was for next week's holiday, and that there may be souvenirs that she wanted if we went on any trips but she is determined to spend it as soon as humanly possible.

She was the same with birthday money and when we were on our summer holidays (again with funds from grandma) everywhere we went, she wanted to know if there was a shop she could go to. At the end of the holiday, she said her favourite thing was spending her money. :-(

I try to give her realistic ideas about money; that you can't have everything you want all the time. She gets treats like magazines maybe once a month but I probably say no more than yes when she asks for things.

I don't know if there's something I can do to lessen the desire to spend straightaway - I don't mind her wanting to spend it, it's her money, but I would like her to have a tiny bit of patience. Am I being unrealistic?

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BeingBooyhoo · 23/10/2012 19:32

buy a transformer. and yes he'd want to go right now and do it. he's 7 now but that's what he would have doen aged 5.

BeingBooyhoo · 23/10/2012 19:35

my dsis was just like your DD. no amount of "spend half and save half" worked with her. money burned a hole in her pocket and i'm sorry to tell you, it still does.

i think the only thing you can do is provide her with options and outcomes and then let her decide. the outcomes will be her choice. so if she spends it now then sees an amazing thing on holiday, she has to accept that she can't buy it. then you use that experience the next time she wants to spend money straightaway to remind her how she felt when she had none to buy the amazing thing.

notcitrus · 23/10/2012 19:37

I can understand wanting to spend it right away - at her age the novelty of having money and simply being able to choose what to buy hasn't worn off!

What is she like on a holiday once she has spent it? Does she understand that she can't have another souvenir because she's already got a [whatever she spent it on]? If so, then if she's happy to buy something immediately then fair enough - if it's a toy, she'll have it for longer. I suspect 5yo and patience don't go together, but if she's OK with the consequences, and you've asked if she wants to save up for something, and reminded her she then won't have any money for the holiday, I'd let her do what she wants.

My ds is 4 and like me is very good at making up his mind immediately about anything and not being swayed from it, so if he is asked what he wants from the museum shop next week if Grandma buys him something, he will say something and still want it next week. I used to get really annoyed when my parents kept asking if I was sure - if they weren't going to believe me, why ask what I wanted in the first place?!

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Bigwheel · 23/10/2012 19:39

My 5 year old ds would probably want to buy ice creams during half term, despite the weather. He would forget all about it within a few days though so it would probably end up in his bank account.

piprabbit · 23/10/2012 19:40

My DS would want to make a bee line for the 99p shop, where he would buy many, many cheap toys. He would be in seventh heaven and I would be a bit as I threw away the discarded remnants a week later.

lola88 · 23/10/2012 19:41

DN is 5 she gets £5 pocket money a month from me i think it's taught her about money. Since it's not a novilty like a gift of money she wasn't expecting she thinks about what she wants when she sees things in a shop she wants we tell her she can get it with her pocket money if she wants something bit she saves up or asks grandad to get enough for it. It's taught her that she can buy what she wants but once it's gone it's gone and not to spend on rubbish.

She wanted a certain barbie type doll that was £22 so saved her pocket money and asked everyone if they had any pennys she could have for about 2 months then once she had enough in her jar she got it the woman in toys r us was less than impressed with all the loose change but hey ho

Original poster

AuntieBulgaria · 23/10/2012 20:26

Beingbooyhoo - yes it's the money burning a hole thing that bothers me. I do wonder if some regular amount like Lola suggests would mean a better grasp of waiting and planning. I agree though that for now just stressing the consequences might be enough.

She is reasonably consistent with what she wants. She said a few random things initially but settled on a big-eyed beanie baby (which is something she has asked for in the past and not received.)

I said we could do some research online and so we've printed out a page of beanies and she has marked her preferred one. We are going to see if that's still her favourite tomorrow.

I think she does understand that once she's spent it, there may be things she wants that she can't have, but I do think at the moment she views spending the money as more important than what she gets as a result - IYSWIM? She's not excited to spent it because she can finally get a thing she's always wanted, she's happy to buy the first thing that comes into her head.

She can't think that come another day, there might be something that she wants more, that would be worth waiting for.

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PackItInNow · 23/10/2012 20:50

Don't have any kids under 6, but DS(7) would spend the whole £10 whereas DD would spend £5 and put £5 in her piggy bank.

RyleDup · 23/10/2012 20:54

My 5 yr old dd would save it. She seems to get more joy from emptying her piggy bank and counting how she has accumulated

monkeyfacegrace · 23/10/2012 20:58

Oh christ, my kids would literally spend the whole £10 on sweets/fizzy drink (aged 4&6), and scoff the lot upstairs in their 'den'!

Pfhh, thats why we dont do pocket money

JiltedJohnsJulie · 23/10/2012 21:03

She would put it in the bank as she is saving up for her own house, but even I know that is just fucking weird at 5

Indith · 23/10/2012 21:05

Spend it on Lego.

He has about that in his piggy bank at the moment actually so I'm going to take him to the bank to open an account so he can start seeing the numbers go up and learn about saving.

He will be 6 in Jan and started getting 50p a week pocket money when he turned 5. He spent the first 50p on sweets. then he learned that if he saved a few weeks he could get a lego mini figure so got one of those a month for a few months. Now he mostly forgets about it so I think limited freedom with money can be good for them.

Original poster

AuntieBulgaria · 23/10/2012 21:17

JiltedJohnsJulie - how is it working out with Gordon? But also, blimey, how practical - that's ambition!

I will think about a limited pocket money amount. When I was 5, I would have spent it on sweets too.

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Fuzzymum1 · 23/10/2012 21:19

Mine would spend it on magic tricks - he is utterly obsessed with learning magic tricks at the moment and is currently saving up his pocket money to buy some props.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 23/10/2012 21:22

Gordon is fine thanks, even if he is a little moronic at times .

To be fair to dd, if I had parents like me and Gordon, I'd be saving up for my own place from an early age too

girliefriend · 23/10/2012 21:26

My dd (age 6) has recently saved up £10 to buy a tin of moshi monsters which are a complete rip off but thats another thread entirely

Think it is fairly normal, I think I wouldn't bother giving long complicated messages about the value of money which are likely to go right over her head. Let her spend her money as long as as a rule she isn't spoilt then I don't see the problem.

BornToFolk · 23/10/2012 21:27

Ha, JiltedJohnsJulie, that reminds me of DS saying he needed to save his money in case I had another baby because babies are expensive. I'm single.

DS was 5 recently and had £15 birthday money. He initially wanted to spend it on a whole set of Harry and the Dinosaurs books but I pointed out that it would take all of his money and he decided against it. It's still in his money box and he has had no further ideas.

OP, when DS has had money like that (i.e. when Grandma gave him some spending money for holiday) he wanted to spend it on the first thing he saw in the first shop we went in. I let him as it stopped the nagging for the rest of the holiday.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 23/10/2012 21:51

born you DS sounds so sweet

PurplePidjInAPointyHat · 23/10/2012 22:02

I'm not sure dnephew would recognise it as money. He lost his first tooth recently and our conversation went

PP: How much did the tooth fairy bring you, dn?
DN: A coin
PP: What are you going to spend it on?
DN: A sword
PP: What kind of sword do you want?
DN: A red one that goes swish so i can teach my new cousin to sword fight

He's 5y 2months, and the new cousin is currently gestating nicely under my pyjamas :o

PinkChampagneandStrawberries · 23/10/2012 22:08

My 6 year old would save it, he never wants to spend birthday/Christmas/holiday/pocket money don't know where he gets it from DP and I are both terrible with money.

Original poster

AuntieBulgaria · 23/10/2012 22:19

Mmm pinkchampagneandstrawberries - now i know what I'd buy if I had some spare cash! Although a red sword that goes swish sounds fun too.

DD does offer to contribute her money box money to household funds if DH and I are having a conversation about needing money for something (we don't discuss money worries in front of her however) but I'm not sure if she'd actually go through with it :-)

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