controlling a birthday party from becoming too wild & nasty 6-7yr boys

[bacon]

That was the 2nd wild party 7yr old birthday party we went to at the weekend. Again started well swim etc then the food and then it gets silly and uncontrollable. Apparently the mum was not happy about the behaviour of some of the boys at this party and the little lad was very unset (I did see him looking upset and fed up - very unusual).

My son is far from an angel but when I'm out I try to control him, I'll grab him and have a word to curtail any over salubrious behaviour. I will also remove him if he doesnt listen.

There seems to be a group of 'football' boys that are so OTT and quite unsetting for some of the other children but surprised that some parents just watch while their off-spring run riot. My pet hate is children not sitting properly at the table - so one gets up runs around then they all follow.

Now, I have a party planned and feel anxiety already about how I'm going to control these boys from running around, backchatting & running out into the hallway, throwing things and generally being revolting. I can see me swearing and f'ing! The invitations havent gone out yet. Can I put a note on the back about leaving roudy behaviour at home, how? What about competitions to win something? DS2 will be there too I dont want him knocked around nor picking up more bad behaviour tips.

The trouble is the class is split 50/50 boys and girls. and I cant not invite some boys as they are his friends.

Honestly, it was shocking I wish I could use a cattle prong on them!

Wear them out? Could you have it outside the home somewhere where they can run around without trashing the place?

What kind of party is it going to be? Could you afford to hire a childrens entertainer? They tend to keep them in order? Or what about just having a nice day out with 2/3 of his mates if it's going to stress you out? I certainly wouldn't be putting any notes about behaviour on the back.

If this sort of behaviour is more or less inevitable, don't invite them. Why should you?

Don't have a party.
Only invite a small group. (ideally no more than childs age +1, children)
Manage the time very tightly, so they do activity for 1 hour, only allow 1/2 hour for tea and have parents start arriving. (Give doggy bags of food to those who haven't finished).
Know the trouble makers and get them involved in keeping control.
Have an activity for them to do to fill any dead time. Make it something they like to do.
Make sure you have lots of help for the tricky end of the party. Maybe higher some teenagers, and get them to get the "bored" ones involved in something until the parents arrive.

Kids tend to misbehave because: they are bored, they are egging each other on, they are trying to impress someone, they are over excited, or it has become part of the culture of the occasion (when I was a kids people used to like to eat until they were sick).

If you can't do it, then enlist the help of someone who is used to handling groups of this age group. Do not let up control (it might be tiring but its worth it). Don't be too nice. If you see a group (2 or 3) unoccupied get them occupied, or move on to the next thing. Have plenty of games held in contingency.

No swimming party first for 1 hour - wouldnt dream of having a party in the house (well after 3yrs old). Swim party followed by food in a function room. So they are worn out but makes no difference!

All the parents are there too!

I would make the eating time as short as possible.

I have had a pool party with an hour of supervised games, then half an hour for the food. Then after their parents came and I 'handed them over' they could go back in the pool if they wanted. So if yours is like that and your supervised bit is 2-3 I would say that the party started at 1.45 or even 1.30 as they can have a bit of wildness then and be reined in with the games-which they will want to do. They are the getting out at 3 and I would have a picking up time of 3.15.

Do the cake at the start of the eating time.

If you can, keep the parents away from the kids so you are in charge of them, not their lackadaisical parents!