DD (2.2) fell backwards off her chair (standing on it to wash hrr hands). I caught her before she hit anything but she was scared and crying... For some reason I snapped and screamed 'stop screaming at me!' whilst cuddling her. Poor baby screamed harder, obviously. I realised i was losing it so tried to collect myself but I keep exploding - going mad over (actual and not proverbial) spilt milk and her not lying down for a nappy change (it was really not one that could be done standing as she wanted to do...)
so now I have stuck cbeebies on and she is quiet and the baby (6mo) is contentedly crawling around but I just feel like I have nothing left, keep crying, can't think what to do next. Normally I can think of something whether its getting outside or going for coffee somewhere or whatever. normally I can rein myself in if I snap and shout. I have apologised to dd for shouting and she has come to hug me saying 'mummy sad', but I do not seem able to pull myself together... I don't know what I/we need right now.
actually, now I've written all this, we're on our 3rd postman pat and I am feeling a little calmer, just kind of depleted. she has been tantrumming and pushing boundaries and whinging at everything a lot recently and I think the stress of it has been accummulating. I KNOW she is tiny and not deliberately winding me up but I am finding it hard to beat my emotional reactions with this knowledge right now.
So, yes, tell me to pull myself together and tell me I can get through the next 5hrs til bedtime!