16 months old and constant tantrums....somebody save me!

[whiteroseorredpls]

My 16 month old has turned from a delight into a real little madam!

Anytime she gets told no or something isn't the way she likes it she screams and screams, lies on the floor and cries and cries. I have tried leaving her to it, but she can't seem to calm herself down. Everything and anything sets her off.

She is my first and I thought she was too young for tantrums! I don't really know the best tactic to take with her - should I try to calm her down with cuddles or let her calm herself (even though it takes a long time - I have tried playing with her toys to try to coax her to stop the tantrum and join me but this doesn't work).

Any suggestions? Is anyone else 16month old like this?

Thanks QT I suspect that she is tired, its worse after she's had a day at nursery. But she has gone to nursery for months and this is recent behaviour. In the past week or so she has also started refusing food - she was a great eater before so teething is a definite possibility but I can't be sure.

She is genuinely distressed but it can be over the smallest thing, for example I offered her a yoghurt and there was a complete meltdown, my husband won't give her his iphone complete meltdown.

I am worried that if I cuddle her and try to bring her of the tantrum I will be encouraging the behaviour. I know she has tantrums at nursery too and they generally ignore and she quickly stops. But with me she goes on for ages.

I will try your gentle ignoring technique and hope she gets better!

My daughter is 16 months and she's been having a lot of tantrums lately too. She tends to have more when she's tired, but she'll have them anyway whether she's tired or not. And it's if we give her something she doesn't want, or take something from her that she does want, that type of thing. I think she is teething, but I think the tantrums are also part of them developing and understanding more of what's going on, getting frustrated when things aren't going exactly as they want them to. I've read that it's important to help them identify their feelings (i.e. "i know you're feeling sad right now because mummy took the plastic bag away from you") because it lays a good foundation for emotional regulation as they're growing if they are able to name their feelings. At this age their feelings feel very overwhelming which I guess is part of the reason they tantrum. I think QT's advice is really good - ignoring the behaviour without excluding them... Sometimes they're just seeing if they can get their own way; other times they are genuinely distressed about something.
Some days I have to say when there are constant tantrums it's pretty exhausting! Feels like there's too much emotion in the house! One day my baby had tantrums all day, and near the end of the day in one of her tantrums she whacked me hard with a toy while flailing. I had pms so burst into tears (the tension of the day, hormones etc) and my husband came in to find both of us weeping, haha. Thankfully most days aren't quite like that!

Mine started her tantrums around that age too. It's a shock that my little lovely baby has turned into a tantrum machine like overnight. Anything I said no, or grabbed off her (like plates, glasses), she would throw herself on the floor and scream and cry.

I would recommend the book Toddler Taming by Christopher Green. Really helped me to understand what is normal, and what I should do.

Hi there, I have a 14 month old boy and for the last 7 days has done nothing but cry, I cant take him anywhere cos he is so clingy he cries when I take him to nursery and when he is at home he cries more. I wouldnt call it a cry its just a constant moan, I am a single mum and only have the 1 child. He used to be such a joy and I loved spending time with him, but now I just want him out my way! I love him to bits but these pasgt few weeks I'm at my wits end! He isnt sleeping, which is probably with him teething, then the minute he wakes up he cries until bedtime. I really dont know whats happened to my pleasant boy, the only time he is quiet is when im out and about with him! I really dont know how much more I can take its making me feel ill.

Am I doing something wrong please help!

He had his injections a few weeks ago and hasn been the same baby since :(

Hiya
I have a now 17mo and a 1 month old. DS has been brilliant with his new brother but did start the meltdowns as I call them, but like others have said he is teething and also going through development learning new words on a daily basis. We don't think the meltdowns are connected to the arrival of his new brother, a coincidence. But possibly have contributed slightly as we had so many visitors and it was overwhelming for him. On the upside he's not having them as much now so as the saying goes... This too will pass :-). Good luck.

Pilkyelliot, I just want to say that if your Ds's behaviour isn't normal and you are doing something wrong then atleast that makes two of us and i for one am so relieved to read that I am not alone. I'm a SAHM and the fact that I don't enjoy my sons company at the moment truly breaks my heart