Health visitor says we should night train 3.5 year old

[Pidge]

Now I'm a seasoned enough mum to know not to believe everything a health visitor tells you, but thought I'd pass this one by the wisdom of mumsnet to see what you thought.

Dd1 had her 3 1/2 year check up with the health visitor yesterday, and she reckoned that we should be training her to try to go nights without a nappy. She's been dry during the day since she was just over 2, and I've always been told the nighttime bit just happens when it happens. (Some people reckon there's a hormone that kicks in which is required before they can do it).

Anyway, HV says we should wake dd1 up to go to the loo. In fact her precise words were "Wake her up to go to the loo when you wake at midnight". Now why she thinks I'd be waking at midnight when I've got a one year old who gets up at 5am, I don't know. But I guess we could theoretically put dd1 on the loo when we go to bed at 10pm.

Question is - should we bother? I asked the HV this, and she said, "Well we don't start to get worried about night-time dryness till they're 7". Which rather seems to contradict her idea of training dd1 now.

What do you reckon. Dd1 is quite happy going to bed with her nappy on. We haven't bothered with pull-ups as she has shown no inclination to do anything other than wee in her sleep!

No. She'll go dry at night when she's good and ready.

I'm one of those annoying child-led parents when it comes to bodily functions. I want to bring up a child to trust and know her own body and what it is telling her.

yes I agree
bad advice
in fact you're teaching her to pee in her sleep. bad idea

hi pidge, both my ds and my dd were trained at 28m (2yrs 4m) with no problems or hitches with sticker charts lots of encouragement etc it took both of them about 3 days. A few days of day time nappies and i didn't put a bedtime nappy on, ds went to bed at 7.30 and slept till 7am, if he needed a wee during the night he would shout and i would go and take him to toilet, however when i trained dd, she went to bed at 7pm and i would lift her at 10pm or before i went to bed, she would have a dreamy pee then i tucked her back into bed, dd is now 2.9 and sleeps all night without me lifting her, on the odd occasion she will shout pee pee and i go and take her during the night, my sister swore by the dream pee method as she done it with both her boys!

sorry should say "a few days without day time nappies"

No leave her to her own devices. This inclination to mess around with basic bodily functions and get them under adult control is really bizarre and possibly harmful IMO.

We did DS at about that age and he was trained at 2.2. Would have done it sooner but couldn't be bothered due to being pregnant/having newborn. But sometimes I think that the instinct is to wee in a nappy because it is there - almost a habit. DS went through a stage where he was dry on several mornings months earlier but because of my issues (pg) I didn't follow it up and he went back to wetting.

What does DD think?

Thanks folks. Well dd herself is quite happy going to bed in her nappy. I've mentioned a few times that when she's big she won't need a nappy in bed because if she needs a wee she'll get up to do one, or she'll just wait till morning. But she doesn't seem very interested.

I think we'll leave it for now. It's weird because this very same health visitor just two months ago told a friend of mine with a little boy the same age as my dd not to bother trying to night-train him, as it would all just happen in its own good time.

One thing I might do though is switch her to pull ups, so at least she has the option to get up and wee if she wants to.

Dd is 5 next week, and has been dry in the day for almost 3 years. She still sleeps in a pull-up, and this morning's was extremely heavy! We've tried night training a couple of times, but she's such a heavy sleeper she will often sleep in a wet bed.

It's not a problem for me or her. And no-one else needs to know do they?

purpleturtle - no, to be honest I hadn't even considered changing anything until the HV mentioned it. And I don't even mind who knows she's in a nappy at night. (I have a thick skin for ignoring comments from MIL, who's the only person who's commented so far!!)

Coincidentally tonight we ran out of her nappies, so we ended up putting her in a pull up for the first time. We've had these pull ups in the cupboard for years, inherited from a friend, but it had never occurred to me to use them, as we didn't need them for day-time training. Anyway, dd was VERY excited. But also got up three times claiming to need to wee before 8pm! Somewhat overenthusiastic .

I think we'll see how the pull-ups go. At least she has the option of going to the loo now. And otherwise we'll just leave her to get dry in her own good time.

Thanks folks!

my dd didn't manage to be dry at nights until she was about 5.5 - i was getting a bit worried but she was soaking every night. In the end, as read on here, I cut out squash after 4pm & she was much less wet (poss cos not drinking as much).
Not long after she managed without a nappy & only ever had one accident.

So tho I was getting paranoid, by leaving it till she was ready it happened very easily in the end.